Tuesday, June 1, 2010

now that I'm lost

Zeke tried to watch the Inbetweeners on You Tube. Usually, it made him laugh. It was something to do alone. He needed a laugh. But he didn't laugh. Nothing was fun. He felt so serious, thinking of Caitlin.

How could she do this to him? Be out on a date with Derrick.

He was sure he was coming down with something. Owen did his best to get him to come out to a party with him. But it felt right just to be sad about this, a little while longer. Just one more day of grief. He'd get out  and do something tomorrow. But right now, he felt tired and jinxed, perhaps.

Perhaps he was the one with the social disorder and not Caitlin. It could very well be. He was seriously malfunctioned and no one even knew. He felt so bad now that he'd thought Caitlin was autistic with no personality. No wonder she didn't like him.

But why couldn't he be like Owen. Just dive in and wake up all happy. Everyday.

No, he couldn't ask Caitlin what he did wrong. He just couldn't. So he called his little sister sometime after midnight to be consoled.

"What time is it?" She sounded exhausted.

"I dunno." He blinked to see it was 2 a.m on his laptop.

"You sound sad." Sheila managed to say. Of course, she was all of 12 and usually lived for soccer and other field games.

"I know. I'm sorry. Its just I wish someone would tell me how to be. How I'm suppose to act." He winced.

"Jesus, Zeke, you are fine. Just be you, will you?" She told him. "If they don't like it, fuck them."

Zeke nodded. His sister's words had power.

"Now go to bed, and let me sleep." Sheila's final answer. The phone went dead.

9 comments:

Romany said...

Ah, good advice from Sheila there. Fuck them if they don't like you for who you are.
Oh my god - the Inbetweeners is on TV right now as I write this! Spooky...
Romany
xx

Sootjeelina said...

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Cafe Fashionista said...

I'm glad he spoke to Sheila. Her advice is simple yet indispensable!! :)

ellie said...

Oh, its hard to get through things like this.

so jade said...

everybody needs a sis like that.

Fenny said...

Sheila is ver good listener.

Josie said...

Haha, I love 12-year-old Shiela and her excellent advice... Poor Zeke.
xxoo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

Holly said...

Little sisters know best.

Meg said...

Sometimes you just need to be sad. His sister's advice is good though!