Wednesday, February 2, 2011

no joke

Caitlin felt sick. It was as if everything was starting to taste funny.

They hadn't really decided on anything. Zeke told her she didn't have to decide this second. He hadn't pressured her, either way.

It was just strange between them now. He'd reach for her, and she didn't want to be touched. She hated that about herself, because it was like he already knew the answer. Maybe they were finished.

She could picture him moving out as soon as the time arrived and she aborted the baby. This made her cry, endlessly. She had a sore throat now and her eyes were so red. She didn't want to go to class, but she knew she had too. She'd missed two days of work, already. Zeke kept covering for her. Of course, they didn't want a sick person taking care of old people.

Caitlin wanted to be grown up about this. After all, she was old enough to get pregnant. She reminded herself, this was why she'd never gotten involved with anyone. Her education was something she'd vowed to as if she'd gone into the priesthood. And as it was, she was not the A student she was in high school. No matter how hard she tried to study. She was not that Caitlin.

A part of her felt like dropping out. Maybe she'd do this kid thing. See how it went. She looked around the room. Could they possibly live here with a kid?

She wouldn't think about a baby. She just couldn't let herself. No. No, she'd never ever really wanted kids. She wasn't much of a babysitter. Really, there were so many things that were wrong about this. It was just wrong. Completely, wrong.

"Are you all right?" It was Megan at her door. "You want to talk about it?"

"No." Caitlin didn't even want to open her door, but finally she did and Megan hugged her.

"I can't believe its true. I'm so happy for you." Megan told her.

"What?" Caitlin was all sad and felt a bit strangled by Megan's enthusiasm.

"It'll be great. You have to keep thinking ...it'll be great." Megan smiled. "Think positive."

Caitlin just stared at Megan. All Caitlin could feel was how negative this whole ordeal was.

8 comments:

Josie said...

Oh, goodness. So much stress.
xo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

cady said...

Poor Caitlin. The last thing she needs right now is unbridled optimism.

ellie said...

If I were here, I'd want to stomp Megan..

Cafe Fashionista said...

I don't get Megan's deal. Caitlin needs someone there to support her, not ridicule her. :/

Cait said...

Megan makes me mad.

Holly said...

Hopefully, it'll all get better.

She is Sara said...

Oh wow. She needs to make a choice! Poor girl.

Through My Eyes said...

Megan was saying the right things, just at the wrong time. Caitlin really needs someone to comfort her and tell her that no matter what it will turn out alright, thought maybe she should show that more. I mean Megan couldn't have thought that the whole baby deal was positive on her own, right?