Monday, April 18, 2011

nothing to know

Logan so wanted to know what was really happening with Alex and Sammi, but he didn't dare text or call, either of them. He stared at his psychology book and re-read the paragraph, again. But he couldn't help it, thinking of them.

First he'd be Alex and think of how Sammi reacted to everything, on their little outing at the zoo. Logan nursed his bottom lip. He thought of them getting closer. Even still, he imagined being Sammi and listening to Alex's words. The happiness in his words. The tone alone elated him and yet left him sad.

He threw his book then. His bed caught it with a bounce. He stared at it, wondering what the book would look like if it weren't on the bed. Would it have crashed against the wall and left with a broken spine?

His hands went over his eyes as if he might weep. He'd never felt more left out. Maybe he always felt left out. Even with Javi. It was freaking him, to think he'd let it happen. He did. Javi and his hook-ups. He understood that Javi was waiting. He planned on going to New York with that professor. Javi was honest about it. Logan listened in Javi's room on his bed, but he gave no recognition of it when he was with Javi. Logan kept telling himself, he didn't care. But the fact remained, he needed to keep his distance from him. This could only end worse than it already had. Of course, he doubted Javi would even notice. It was only physical. It had nothing to do with emotion.

He looked at his phone, looked through his contacts where he found Javi's name. He went to edit, and stared at Javi's phone number for some time. Finally, he deleted it. It was done. Yet, he felt a little cold about it. Why was all this making him feel more and more calloused.

Of course, he sat on his bed then and put his hands over his eyes and wept like he might be some miserable painting that was left in the corner of a dark room. Suddenly, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Logan sighed. He answered it diligently, though.

"What?" He croaked.

"You don't sound good." It was Alex.

"Uh, I ..I must be coming down with something." Logan stared into space trying to think of something. "Allergies, I guess."

"Good thing you didn't go to the zoo today." Alex mentioned.

"Guess not." What did Alex want from him? Logan sighed.

"Look, I don't think I can see Sammi, again," Alex said.

"Why?" Logan found some happiness in that, but not really. Was he the only one who could truly put up with her?

"She's kind of like a little sister, you know. I feel funny around her." Alex told him.

Logan almost laughed at the thought of Alex feeling funny around Sammi.

"Do you?" Logan found himself asking.

"Lets do something." Alex stated as if he were moving on and Sammi was just an after thought now.

"OK." Logan didn't dare ask what they'd do. He was in shock that Alex called.


Josie said...

Hmmmm, I wonder what's going to happen with them?
xo Josie

Cafe Fashionista said...

I hope they don't do anything they're not ready for. :/

lucy and sarah said...

Alex is so interesting. Logan, I feel bad for him. I think.

ivy's closet said...

Hmmm..what could that mean???

She is Sara said...

Oh geez, this is getting so weird!

Ali said...

hahahah..oh my, can't hardly wait.

Holly said...

Oh, I do wonder what's up...

Bex said...

I so love how this started. I have to wonder what Logan's expectations are of Alex.