Saturday, April 30, 2011

where good girls go

Sammi's stomach growled. It was the last thing she expected. After all, she hadn't really slept at Derrick's. Yes, she'd been there. It was full of hot and cold moments.

She'd been in a rush to get there. She was in a sweat that soon turned to goosebumps, sort of like waking up in a nightmare. Only, it wasn't that bad with Derrick. It was just not what she was expecting. But just the same, she knew she'd never get into Sainthood now.

She hugged herself tight, there on her bed trying to keep Derrick out of her mind. Why him? She kept asking herself. What was she thinking? Seriously?

Sammi knew she could have been doing anything. Like studying. But she hated it. She hated herself. She should have been with Alex. It was so calm with him. So right. Wasn't it? Well, he would have been great to travel with. He knew all the cheap treats, and he was always at ease. A guide of sorts about the outside world. Yet, she wasn't sure she trusted him. Exactly.

But why would she trust Derrick? Really? It was just a fluke. A one shot deal that he'd certainly made the most of with his touch and his mouth. And yes, she was certain, he had a way of making her feel good and she knew now why Natalie was floating on air.

She bit her bottom lip. Squinted hard. But she shook with laughter. They never did have intercourse. Maybe she didn't need it. She was beginning to think. She'd gone there for one thing, and got something completely different.

Now Sammi was just cold. It was like she didn't know. She was such a stupid girl. And bad. So bad. Getting with Derrick when she knew who loved him so sincerely and sweetly. It broke her heart, what she'd done to Natalie.

What had her close friend ever done to her? Were they that close, really?

Sammi squished the pillow so, wrapping herself around it. Well, maybe Logan could save Natalie. He could be there for her, couldn't he? Real tears suddenly overwhelmed her. She coughed to breathe. Perhaps she could hide out in the confessional now at the campus ministry building. Well, light a candle or something. But who died? Maybe a part of herself.


lucy and sarah said...

This is sad. Very sad at the end.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Oh, I can't help but to want to cry. What a horribly sad time. :(

ellie said...

I feel as if she's learned something. I hope she won't let this swallow her and make her even more depressed.

griffin said...

Hopefully, Sammi will be a better friend..soon.

Holly said...

I hope she learned something out of all this.

molly said...

What a bad situation. I don't think she wants to be that kind of friend.

Anonymous said...

So sad for Sammi. Just so sad.

cady said...

"But who died? Maybe a part of herself." I loved this line so much.

Thanks for the comments. Yeah. I'm really behind on everything, it's disgusting.

Josie said...

I'm so sad for her.
xo Josie