Saturday, June 25, 2011

being me

Sammi was not sure if she had any fun being home. Of course, Derrick annoyed her with his texts and phone calls, nonstop.

"You have to stop." She told him. "You can't just go on doing this... while I'm with my Mom." She protested late one night over the phone, back in her little girl room at home. She sat there on the half bed eying the posters of all the boy bands she once adored.

"But I miss you. So much." Derrick reminded her that she'd left town just as soon as he got back.

Sammi wasn't sure she missed him as much. She guessed they were fine. But as she stared at the cool faces on the wall, she remembered how much she wanted to date somebody in a band. How could she forget that? Was it too late, for something like that to happen? Had she ruined it? Hooking up with Derrick, so suddenly.

Sammi shook her head. She wanted to tell him that she didn't miss him, at all. Well, maybe she did miss him, a little. She'd have to see him first, to know. Perhaps. Sammi paced a bit, thinking she should do something. She looked at pictures of her and her old friends who she doubted were even home now. She'd dropped them so suddenly.

Steadily, Sammi listened to everything Derrick said. All she could think about was what an awful friend she'd been. No wonder her high school friends never called her, or anything. She'd dropped them like taking out the trash and never looked back.

There was the guilt of Natalie waring on her heart too. Where was she? She looked herself in the mirror then and found herself blinking tears.

"I have to go!" Sammi said with such an urgency. It was as if a huge panic attack had landed on her chest. Her fingers found Logan's phone number quick enough. She pushed through, and waited. Sitting once again on her bed. He probably wouldn't answer. But the time ticked and finally..someone said.."Hullo."

"Good, you are there." She sighed.

"Yeah." Logan sounded confused as if he needed to hang up right then.

"Don't hang up." She choked on her words.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh..its nothing." She tried her best to sound happy as she bounced her bottom on the bed and laid back on her pillow. "How's it going?"

"I got a sunburn. But its stormy right now." He told her. "A tornado warning it out."

"Oh." Sammi wasn't terribly worried. "So how are they treating you at the zoo?"

"Not so bad. I-I work with this Randi...girl." He sounded happy about that. "I thought of you. You know, she's got a guy name, like you."

Sammi rolled her eyes. He would say that.

"Look, I-I was wondering ..if..if you'd heard from Natalie." Sammi wanted to know.

"I haven't heard anything." Logan told her.

" you maybe, ask around." Sammi found herself saying.

"Maybe." Logan didn't sound too hopeful. "Its not like I'm a detective or anything."

Sammi closed her eyes. She could see Natalie so clearly, the sun behind her as if she were golden. Sammi missed Natalie's smile. She was so gentle and kind to everyone. Sammi was sure Natalie wasn't like that, anymore.


Cuppykirsten said...

Oh oh oh, Sammi, Sammi, Sammi...

With love,

Cafe Fashionista said...

This Natalie sounds like an interesting person. :)

ivy said...

I'm glad Sammi is feeling guilty.

FWB said...

Sammi sounds a bit down and out.

Cait said...

I do wonder if Natalie is all right.

Through My Eyes said...

Haha my name is Natalie, but I am not too sure about her. . .

Josie said...

I hope that Natalie is legit...
xo Josie