Saturday, June 11, 2011

where now

Zeke felt lost. Yes, he was going through the motions with work, but nothing was like it used to be with Caitlin. They didn't actually talk.

The first couple of days after the miscarriage, he managed to sort of sleep. But not really. He'd get restless. And seem to wake the exact moment he knew the baby was dead, at 3:15 in the morning. Of course, she told him..he slept too much. Of all things they could have talked about, she told him this. Not about how she was feeling, or her grief or pain. Just, he was sleeping too much.

"You could sleep through anything." He knew she was bitter. He didn't fight about it. He let it go, and felt he was coming down with something. Zeke spent longer hours at work. He'd come home after Caitlin was in bed, asleep. Honestly, he didn't think he could do this much longer. Be in their room. Maybe it would be best if he moved out.

That's what Zeke intended to do. Tell her, he was moving out. First he'd sleep on the couch in the livingroom. Although, he felt it was a bit of a high traffic area. He guessed. There were other rooms in the house. He could try. She evidently needed this time alone. But they needed to talk.

When he got home from work, it was well after 11 at the night, he found their room empty. Of course, he wanted to rush around looking for her, or at least ask Smed if he knew anything, but before he could, his cell rang.

"Its thundering!" It was Megan.

"Is it?" He hadn't noticed, but there were flashes of lightening out.

"I tried to call Smed, I bet he's asleep." She sighed. The truth was, she didn't want to be left alone with Paul, the eight year old she was watching. "Could you come over?"

"All right." Zeke said so monotone. He wanted to ask about Caitlin, but he had a feeling she didn't want to be found.

5 comments:

Cafe Fashionista said...

Thunder and lightning always makes me jittery, as well! :)

Through My Eyes said...

That's just absolutely horrible, the miscarriage and all

She is Sara said...

Aww, it's so sad things are so hard right now for them.

ellie's desk said...

It takes time. I hope they talk.

lucy and sarah said...

So sad for Zeke.