Monday, February 20, 2012

so much to know

When Zeke heard what happened with Noel running off, he thought the least he could do was to show up at the hospital.

In a fantasy in his head, he stepped right in, took Noel place like an understudy of some kind. Even signed the birth certificate. He was right there for the baby, in the middle of the surgery. He watched it all in awe.  But it didn't happen that way.

He peered in the nursery for some time. He hadn't been to such a place like this, since the miscarriage. A part of him, thought his throat might close up. Possibly, he was a little allergic too. But he soon saw Randi's baby in the nursery. It might have been small, but it was healthy. For a preemie, it was very heavy. Almost four pounds. Still it was in a special crib, away from the others. Zeke couldn't help but smile at the little raw thing. He didn't even know if it were a boy are a girl. It was in a white hat.

Finally, he made it to Randi's room. She looked a bit of a blob herself. Her hair fell across her face. She looked asleep as he peeked in.

"I guess you know." She looked as if she could doze off in mid sentence, but she startled him as he was leaving. Maybe he shouldn't be here.

"The baby looks..looks fantastic." It didn't look as if it would need weeks of care. Not even a respirator was on the baby.

"Does she?" She cleared her throat. Asked him if he could give her some water. "I can't believe you're here. But..but Noel's not here. I think he's afraid of me. Afraid of the baby."

"Maybe its just shock. He'll come around." He gave her the pink corduroy heart in the bag he was carrying.

"Oh, you didn't have to get me anything." But she was happy to have it. She hugged it as if this was all she needed.

"It was..the other Valentines day gift..I got..for.." Zeke pressed his lips tight as if he couldn't even say Caitlin's name now. She wasn't speaking to him. She'd conveniently not be at the house when he was. Zeke was beginning to feel it was over. Even if she hadn't told him so.

"Did she like the wreath?" Randi smiled as if she wanted to hear all about his Valentines day.

"I sent it to my mother." Zeke did his best to smile.

"I bet she'll love it." She looked as if she might doze off. It was quite for a while. Zeke was about to go. "You know, Noel's not coming back. He isn't here."

"Maybe..maybe soon." Zeke tried to sound hopeful, reminding her that Logan and Alex were getting coffee or at the gift shop. Smed was picking up Natalie. There were people here for her and the baby.

Her eyelashes flutter and she sighed with sleep. The room was dim. Zeke had to wonder if she'd even remember their conversation.

"I don't think he wants to see Ari." She was crying then, but she held on to the pillow as if it might be a life preserve, and she was somewhere on the deep sea.

"Like..like Ariel, the  Little Mermaid?" It was a nice name, he thought.

"No. Just Ari. Like cupid. God, I couldn't call her Valentine, you know. That would be just wrong. But you know, Ari. Little angel. I guess. Something, like that."

"Yeah, like a little angel." He was backing away, knowing she needed to rest.

"Don't go." She told him. "You just got here." She wanted him to sit. So he did.

"What did you really do for Valentines day?" Randi yawned then.

"Not that much," Zeke told her this was the most exciting part of his Valentines day.

6 comments:

Cafe Fashionista said...

He needs to come clean about everything. :/

ellie said...

What a bitter-sweet moment.

Josie said...

He needs to tell her...
xo Josie
www.winksmilestyle.com

mazzy may said...

Its so emotional for her right now. I think he's emotional too.

Sara said...

I know there is a lot to sort through, but this was a sweet moment :)

Ben and Molly said...

I feel really bad for her. But I'm really glad he brought her the pillow.