"Did you see any of this coming?" The question was vague. Smed stared at Natalie thinking his answer better be vague too.
"Not really." But Caitlin was on his mind. He kept thinking it was half right. Half wrong. Whatever it was with Caitlin. Yes, he'd confessed what she meant to him. He wasn't drunk, either.
He thought they would have consummated what was there in his heart. That night, when she was with him. He kissed her as if it was the best thing that ever came about. And it was. There was a surge of happiness between them. He couldn't stop smiling as he looked at her. It was as if they were the only two that mattered. That night.
But, he couldn't go through with it. It was awful close. So close. He could feel Caitlin's lips even now. Her skin was a certain beauty he'd never quite known before. Even if the first kiss, was a quick flashback of how Natalie kissed him. He was lost for a moment. It was as if, he needed Natalie more now. Not this with Caitlin. He didn't want to hurt Zeke, but maybe he already did. He didn't mean to.
It was so awful now, to think what possibly could have been. Did Caitlin want them to be together? She didn't speak to him. He didn't speak to her. When she left that morning, he hadn't had to decide anything. But he guessed he'd decided. He was still with Natalie. And she needed him. He needed her too.
"Poor Randi." Smed got it now. She was talking about Randi and the baby. How cruel Noel was. They got more Pampers for the baby while they were out at Wal-Mart. It was becoming a weekly tradition now. She always picked up a bag of Pampers.
"I can't believe it, either." He went with that one. Yet his heart was heavy. What to do about Caitlin? Was there anything to do? A part of him, thought it would be fantastic to see where it might go with her. They didn't have to tell anyone. Nobody needed to know.. Yet, it felt doomed. It was best to keep their distance.
Smed followed Natalie. A part of him wished he could move out with Zeke. But he dreaded to speak to him now. Feeling it was all his fault. It was. He needed to remember that fact. And he would.