Saturday, September 15, 2012

all too soon

Caitlin couldn't help but get emotional. Megan leaving. Now Smed and Sammi, making it official.

"It'll be OK." Megan was being really comforting now. Caitlin didn't expect it.

She hoped she hadn't made a scene. In fact, Caitlin speechless.

Of course, there was a little envy. Everyone seemed to be on the right track. Except her. Maybe she was in the wrong. Maybe she'd done the opposite of everyone here. After all, it was a physical relationship with Dung. But maybe..maybe that changed, too.

She guessed. He seemed eager to be that guy who wanted the world to know they were together. No secrets. Still, it was a bit awkward. The routine of things. Thinking of themselves as a real couple. But the last day or two had been more of a cushion, that anything. Assuring her, that her life wasn't so bad.

Caitlin was getting used to the fact that Zeke was really happy with Randi. Yet, it felt like the snap of the finger. Magic, somehow. She supposed he was like that, now that she thought of him. Remembering him, the first moment she met him. His smile. His way of helping.

But Smed. She'd truly lost him now. If only the timing were different. What if they were suppose to be in another world, together. What if...

She knew she couldn't let herself go down that road, and yet she felt as if someone was killing her softly. But she couldn't dare let Megan think she wanted any sympathy.

"I'm going to miss you." Actually, it felt as if Megan's visit was months instead of weeks. "When will I see you?"

Sure they would phone each other, video chat, text. It wasn't like Megan didn't want to see her.

"I doubt I'll be traveling much, after..you know.." Megan shrugged as if she was going to get on with things. As if she was going to try to embrace this new beginning.

"I know." Caitlin closed her eyes, thankful that Megan didn't hate her."I'm sorry..I'm really sorry..."

"Don't be." Megan sighed. "I know you were only trying to help. You are my best friend." Megan rested her hand on Caitlin's shoulder.

They hugged once more before Megan went to find Derrick. Caitlin excused herself thinking she felt so alone in all this coupling even if Gavin was there on his own, studying photos from past moments of all of them together.

"Hey, I'm glad you're here for Timo." She said in passing. Perhaps, that was all he needed to hear. His smile was calm. He gave her a little toast with his glass. Caitlin supposed he'd be gone by tomorrow. She went upstairs, hoping she'd find Dung.

But the room was dark. She switched on the light. There was a note left on the bed.

Caitlin winced. He'd never left her a note. She wasn't even sure she knew his handwriting. Naturally, it was all in print and perfectly grammatical.

He left, and he wasn't coming back.

She sat on the bed then. Relieved, yet in pain thinking what was it she'd done to make him leave.


3 comments:

Cafe Fashionista said...

She can't blame herself. :/

Chris Ed said...

I´feel sorry for Caitlin ! Things are getting bad for her.

ellie said...

Hopefully, she's learned something.