Thursday, December 6, 2012

its never the same

How come it felt like she'd been pregnant forever?

Megan was beginning to feel their place becoming too small. Or maybe she was just getting bigger. OK, she was definitely at balloon stage status now when it came to pregnancy pictures. Somehow, she couldn't stop looking at herself in the mirror, wondering just how big her stomach would get.

That alone freaked her. Then, if she let herself, it was the unknown that got to her. It was so hard to keep busy. Especially, when she wanted to sleep. But she walked. She lifted light weights. And she still yawned terribly at nine in the morning, four in the afternoon. She would be dragging by eight in the evening. As soon as she'd turn in, well, someone was wide awake and kicking like crazy. She had a feeling she would not be seeing eye to eye on this little one. What if they hated each other?

"Stop thinking it." That was Caitlin's bright idea. Of course, Megan couldn't stop herself. "Do you have the place all decorated for the holidays." Caitlin asked over a phone call. They hadn't video chatted in forever.

Megan looked around at the neat little room they called home.

"No."

They didn't even have a TV.

"Maybe you should try." Caitlin suggested.

"As if you're going to put a tree up in your room." Megan rolled her eyes at that.

"The tree is already up, downstairs." Caitlin told her.

Immediately, Megan thought she might cry. She felt so sad. She plopped down, her belly wiggled like Jello. She winced. What was the baby wanting now?

She went to the fridge and pulled out a jug of milk and the peanut butter too. She'd let herself have a spoon of peanut-butter as she listened to all these good things about Gavin.

"See, I knew you liked him." Megan could have told her that.

"No. Its just, I gotta get him something for Christmas. For the trip. I dunno what to do," Caitlin said. "He has to work Christmas now. All because of me. I don't think he gets any days off now."

"Well, he's gotta come home sometime, make him brownies." Megan wanted brownies. Maybe it was the baby who wanted brownies. She licked at the peanut-butter. If only she had a real friend here to do things with. But she wouldn't talk about it. But how..just how could she be so lonely in a big city like this.

She envied Caitlin, even if Gavin was working straight through, there was the house with all the people she remembered. Of course, she didn't get along with them all the time. Things were different now. She would make an effort this time to get along with somebody.

There was Derrick, but he was busy, and she didn't want to hear about work. She rubbed her tummy, and got a kick. She guessed she asked for it.

4 comments:

Cafe Fashionista said...

Poor Megan. She seems so sad and lonely. :(

Sara Gerard said...

Wow, this has to be so hard on her! Hopefully she can make a friend soon.

ellie said...

Hopefully, the new year will look better.

lucy and sarah said...

Such bad timing. She needs a good friend or two.