Thursday, January 17, 2013

where did the spirit go

"You know, he would have been here if didn't have to work." Caitlin said about Timo.

 Caitlin got Hattie the strawberry milkshake she wanted at the shop not so far from Planned Parenthood. The sun was out, but it was cold. And here she was shivering watching Hattie nurse on the milkshake. Caitlin knew Hattie was a little lost for words at the moment. She wasn't exactly her happy self.

"I know. I know." Hattie nodded as if she was thinking of something sad.

"This is good news. Right?" Caitlin wanted to think so. Hattie didn't look so pleased, though.

"Right." She looked at the shake as if maybe it wasn't such a good idea. "Its so weird." She sighed. "I mean, why..why did I not expect this? Add the math. I should have thought it would happen. And..and then I'm three months. Already." She sounded as if she might be angry. She nursed the milkshake once again while Caitlin sipped her coffee.

"I dunno if.."

"What?" Caitlin looked at Hattie as if she needed something else.

"Look, if ..if I tell you this..." She shook her head, as if it might be better, left alone. She stared at the shake in the plastic cup.

"I'm not going to tell." Caitlin shrugged, but she couldn't imagine Hattie would keep anything from Timo.

"Its not about Timo." She sighed as her eyes filled with tears. "Oh God, there is a reason, I didn't want to stay..with you guys..."

Caitlin slipped her a napkin. Hattie looked so young and sweet with her hair pulled back with a ponytail high on her head. Hattie mentioned the abortion, that was some time ago.

"Its kind of hard to talk about." Hattie gasped. "Its just, I knew it was the right thing, to do." She bit her bottom lip. "I-I just could never tell Alfie." She shook her head. She squeezed the napkin tight and brushed away a tear that slipped down her cheek. "I know he'd hate me. And when I think about it, I hate myself too. But...why am I thinking about this now? I don't want too." She sighed as more tears emerged.

Caitlin listened. She knew Hattie wasn't that girl, anymore.

"That's the past. Don't look back." Caitlin found another napkin for her. "I know you'll do fine."

Hattie nodded. But Caitlin could see Hattie would need friends to get through this. And she was certain now she wanted to be Hattie's friend.


Cafe Fashionista said...

I'm so glad that Caitlin will be there for her. :)

Sara Gerard said...

Caitlin is a good friend to have at a time like this.

Josie said...

Caitlin is such a good friend.
xo Josie

ellie said...

Hattie has been so strong. I hope this won't break her.