Smed was listening. He was. Still, he just couldn't think of a thing to say. It was a tired feeling. Listening to Sammi go on about Megan having the baby.
Actually, he felt a little dizzy. He didn't want to have any feelings for Megan, but there was a time he loved her. He thought he might even be the father to her children. Now it felt like a sham of some kind. He knew it was silly to think on how he thought he'd spend the rest of his life with her.
There was nothing to be emotional about. He knew that. He'd figured her out. He was over her. He seriously was, but to think of his time with her now was like he'd failed a test.
He pushed his dark dish water curls away from his face, thinking maybe he was the one who hadn't grown up. She did. She got married. She started a family. Funny, how this caught him off guard. Some days he thought he was smarter than he used to be. But what if he wasn't. What if?
He stirred his potato soup contemplating if he was really hungry or not. Why was he doing this to himself now? Thinking how it might be if he'd stayed with Megan. No way in hell would he be happy. Why did he bother even thinking it now.
Snow was in the forecast. A blizzard with white outs. He wasn't all that excited about the week. After all, with Presidents Day, it gave him more hours to make up. Add a snow storm and that made the week even longer.
"You're not coming down with something, are you?" Sammi finally sat down with the sliced sour dough bread.
Smed stared at the soup and shook his head, no.
"Then, what's wrong?"
He looked up and saw that look... as if she might be the worse cook in the world, or something.
"I like the soup." He promised, "Its just-"
"Just what?" She kept staring.
"Nothing really. Nothing at all." His smile was quick and he reached to take her hand. This was what was meant to be. He was certain of it. He didn't want to think of regrets. He hoped Megan was happy with the new baby. And he hoped some day he and Sammi would start a family too. But he wanted to be a husband for awhile.
There was a tickle in this throat. Honestly, he'd never thought on this all so much, as of now. He really wanted a chance to be husband. But not anyone's husband.