Hattie couldn't wait for spring, but the sun was deceiving. It was a cold wind. She should have known better to go out without her gloves.
For once she had a long list of things to learn before the baby arrived. Hopefully, she'd learn to drive soon. Gavin said he could teach her, but honestly what good would it do her if they didn't even have a car.
She hated to feel low about this now. She'd been so upbeat, but it was sinking in there was a long road ahead. She didn't feel she'd ever be much good at giving a child anything.
"Don't get ahead of yourself." Gavin told her on their little steady drive around a nearby empty parking lot. "You know, Caitlin put in a good word for you at the nursing home. And you could ride with her to work. You'd be working in the kitchen, just four hours a day."
Hattie did her best to smile, but she did feel in limbo. So many ifs. She guessed. It was definitely not the time to be depressed. It was best to look ahead.
When Gavin dropped her off to the house, she was so thankful to go inside where it was warm. Even better, Timo was in the kitchen with fresh brownies.
"So, are you ready to be a truck driver now?" Timo asked as he dished out the brownies and a glass of milk.
"Not really." She sat down with him at the kitchen table. "I honestly can't say I enjoy it as of yet."
"Because you were in Gavin's pickup." Timo told her she'd probably like driving something smaller like a compact car, but she told him she'd feel like a lady bug out the road ready to be squashed.
Finally after she scarfed down a second chunk of brownie, she asked. "How was your day?"
"All right, I guess." He shrugged a little indifferent.
"But you made brownies." She smiled ever so endearing as if there must be something special that happened.
"Well, it was just, you know, in the box.. kind." He stared at the brownie he hadn't touched. His hand rubbed the back of his head as if he might be in thought about something completely different than what she was talking about.
"What is it?" She kept staring at his pale skin in the off white thermal shirt he wore. His almost goofy grin could turn very sad in an instance.
"I want to tell you something funny, but it isn't funny." He sighed.
"OK." She looked at him brightly.
"I dunno if I can look at you and tell you. Everything." He frowned. His leg began to bounce as if he wanted to hurry and leave.
She took his hand.
"We both know, we're not perfect. We've made mistakes." Hattie sighed. "I won't make you tell me. Maybe you could write it in a letter. It might make you feel better. It might not. Its just, we have more on our minds right now than what might have happened a long time ago. Besides, all you can do is hope for the best."
He didn't look like he got off the hook, she thought then.
"Thanks for the brownies." She kissed him on the cheek. "Its going to be OK."
He hugged her. Honestly, she felt she knew him.