heart & soul

 What did he become? The question kept rolling around in that little head of  Dylan's for quite some time. From the cold walk home that early morning night into the days ahead. This was not who he wanted to be. Especially with Caitlin.

He squinted hard scrubbing the burnt edges of the pot until his fingers were raw. He drew a breath, thinking he was the worst. Honestly, it was the last thing he expected as he did his best to rewind to the moment it happened, being with Caitlin. 

It didn't feel quite real, but it was. Now he still felt a bit intoxicated, perhaps unhinged. He scrubbed the back of the pot more as the steel wool bit back and his fingers bled. Naturally, he placed the side of the index finger to his mouth and he tensed.

There was a god-awful pandemic going on and what was he thinking? Dylan squinted hard. He'd wanted it to be Tori. Why was he so stupid?

And how was he going to get through this? How? 

He was not the best actor. In fact, he guessed he wasn't much of anything. Especially, after falling into something with Caitlin. But he'd slipped away early. He didn't sleep. Maybe she didn't even know. She was a little out of it too. Nothing like the Cailin he knew.

Maybe..maybe it was a mistake. They'd soon forget. Except, it was fresh on his mind right now. Especially, when he wanted those thoughts to be about Tori. No one else.

A knock came on his door. Unexpectedly, Tori arrived.

"What? What are you doing here?" His question was a mistake, but he stammered a bit saying he was cleaning up and she should have text, at least.

She only smiled and said ever so happily, "Ta-da!" She'd crocheted him a sweater with the tiniest finest stitch. It was mind-boggling even to Dylan. 

They soon got to the couch and she sat down, talking about how she needed to see this through. "I've never made a sweater before. I just wanted to see if it fit."

"But..but..you should have made it for yourself," Dylan held it up. It was a nice neutral color. Not quite white.

"Do you like it?" She looked at him blankly as if she might have offended him.

"Of course," Dylan smiled. It almost brought him to tears. He knew he was not good. No matter how hard one might go to fix mistakes, some things remain. He was not the best friend now.

"Well, go ahead, put it on." She smiled.

"Oh, yes..yes..I should." He slightly sighed doing his best to follow a good friend script. Had he forgotten? They were only good friends nothing more..nothing less. He pulled the sweater over his head. It was so soft like a dreamy hug.

"It's not too snug," Tori wanted to know. Dylan shook his head, no. Honestly, it was perfect. 

"I should..I dunno..how much?" Dylan wanted to know.

"Priceless," she smiled. She told him she'd recycled the yarn from a previous sweater. She'd worked days getting the yarn from an old sweater the old woman had parted with when she left the homeless shelter. "She showed me how I could make something new again. And..and you make things new to  me." She told him.

Dylan couldn't help but weep. He hugged her then, promising never to let her down.