In a world so cold

 

"God, I hate this!" Monica's mascara was not waterproof. Most of it was on Randy's graphic tee. He looked down at the dark mess as he pulled her away. Perhaps it was a pause, because he didn't have a good answer about her parents moving to Arizona.

After all, she'd finished up her Senior year early because she wanted to start more college courses. She was already enrolled at the University. She would have never done it unless it wasn't for Randy. Still, he was certain she did it for all the wrong reasons. He just wanted her to further her education. 

"Well, it will be warmer there," Randy winced, thinking they were both going to freeze in this wind if they didn't get inside soon. Of course, Monica was very hot, almost in a sweat. They'd met up on Campus.  He put one arm around her and led her toward the Coffee Shop.

He got her situated at the back booth where she always wanted to sit while she dripped in endless tears. Randy ordered her a chocolate milkshake and got himself a flat white.

"You might like it," he said a few minutes later. Actually, he was talking about the milkshake, but she was dead set against Arizona.

"No, I won't," she burst into more tears. "I WANT TO BE WITH YOU."

Randy's eyes lit. Most definitely, she should major in drama. "You don't always get what you want."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She frowned, packed with emotion.

Randy cradled his cup. "The thing is..." He didn't know where to start. Maybe he was wrong about everything. Maybe he was the luckiest guy in the world. But it never felt that way. "I..look, most of my life I've been in a group home. Nobody seemed to know my real problem. I was quiet if..if I wasn't going mad..which ..which led to more medication to keep me quiet..and then....then it was like I was put on a shelf and forgotten about." How could he explain to her that he'd been a lost cause most of his life? "What do you even see in me?"

She festered a round frown that practically burst in a hopeless anguish. "But..but..I can't help it. I think..I think..I know..I know you're smart. I know you. You want to help me be a better person."

"Better person?" Randy squinted. He could hardly look Monica in the face. "You have so much going for you. You just need to focus on figuring out what you want to do."

"I know, and that's why I need you." She pressed her lips. "I'm..I'm just a freaking fan girl looking for her next boy to adore. I don't want to be like that. And you, well..you always make me feel, that I'm not that shallow. When I know am." She sucked in a breath and told her how her parents didn't think she would be much. That she needed to find somebody to take care of her.

"You can take care of yourself." He was blunt, and she exploded into tears.

"I'm not.." He didn't know how to finish the sentence. Were they actually going out? They went places together. She had a car. He had a job. He ate her mother's Italian dinners without question on a Friday night when they watched Netflix at her place and Hulu at his on a Saturday night, snacking on air-popped popcorn.

"We'll write to each other. We've got FaceTime. We can make it work." He found himself saying, but he could tell he hadn't helped her situation.