Oh, it hurts so Bad

 "What?" Justin looked at Vada blankly.  She knew. 

He sighed as if he didn't know what she wanted to know. It wasn't that bad. Really.

"It's not what you think," Justin smiled as if she was being too much of a bitch. He was certain a kiss would make it better, but she wouldn't even let him get close. 

"I know," her smile was crooked. Justin was uncertain what she wanted to know.

"It..it was only to relax me," Justin admitted about the cigarette that Sal had given him. "It's not a narcotic." He scowled. "It was just cloves....or something like it."

"I don't like drugs," Vada was being so sullen. "I can't live with you."

Justin cracked up.

"It was only a cigarette," he smiled. "You're making too much out of it."

"I don't think so," her voice was dull. It was as if he should know, it was over.

"I don't know what you mean," he found himself saying. "Are you serious?"

She nodded. She was just in her sweats and black tank. It was weird. It was so unexpected.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't want you in my life anymore," she was so certain.

It hurt. First his chest. Then he felt faint.

"I don't understand?" Justin tried to explain. He was doing his best to make extra money. What did she want? And then it hit him. They'd never been real with each other. He thought he might faint. Where in the hell was he supposed to go? She already had a bag packed for him. With that, she hit him in the chest with it and opened the door.

It's like I buried my faith with you

 Gabe knew this would happen, but he forgot about it. He was just glad it was Pan and not him. Not that he'd really worried ever about being gay, but it was in the back of his mind. He was a twin. Wasn't that what they always said in all those studies? One would always be gay.

Well, he wasn't going to let it bother him, and then Sammie had to always be there for Vada.

"Just..just leave it alone," he said, he didn't mean to beg. "She'll figure it out with Justin."

Yes, he might have been selfish, but it was their life. They didn't need to worry about other people. Maybe it was foolish to believe this, but it was true. They needed each other. They needed to move forward. They could do this. 

"But, but..." 

Oh, those eyes of Sammie. Why did she have to worry?

"You can't do everything," Gabe sighed. He hugged her as if she was all his world that was meant to be. 

Sure, he thought she worked too much. How was she ever going to get a degree in college? 

"Just stop it, will you?" He looked her in the eye then. "Leave Vada alone. If she wants to end it with Justin. Let her."

Sammie gave him a nod, but she was worried about Rico too.

"Rico? What are you talking about?" Gabe winced. 

Sammie was in his lap. Just where he wanted her. There on the couch in their little studio basement flat.

"Oh, I dunno." She looked sad about it. She'd heard Carmen's awful stories of her past. It wasn't good.

"Don't even go there," Gabe said it would do no one, any good.

"I think..I think it's best if he lets her just go on to college. All on her own."

"You're not talking about yourself, are you," he asked. She kissed him as if that was not so. He sighed a bit more relaxed.

"She's just an excuse," she sighed. "You know, to keep him going."

Gabe nodded as if he understood. 

"Do you think we're wrong for each other?" He asked then, looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

"No." Sammie laughed. "I love you." She smiled. He kissed her cheek. 

"Will you marry me?" He asked with a silly grin.

"You know I would."  Her smile was open. 

"Let's just think about us." Gabe was serious. He knew Pan would do what he felt like and so would he.

It was well over a year they had been together and Gabe wanted to tie the knot. And he knew he didn't care what anyone thought.

You know it used to be mad love

 

Vada could hardly take it. How could Sammie go on and on with Carmen and her problems? Especially, at Vada's.

"Well, I am your best friend, now aren't I?" Vada snapped. Sure she put the leftovers Sammie brought into the fridge, but there was no time where Vada had alone time with Sammie to talk about her problem, Justin who would be home within the hour. 

Maybe he'd go out for a drink with the guys after the photo shoot. However, none of the models smoked or drank. Justin was the bad apple in the bunch.

"Sorry," Vada sighed about being too needy.

"What's wrong?" Sammie didn't look too hurt.

"Oh, you know, Justin won't do a thing around here," Vada fretted.

"Really?" Sammie said she'd seen him washing clothes. She thought he was becoming domesticated.

"OK, so..so maybe..maybe it's me."

She wouldn't dare want to call herself high maintenance. But now that she thought about it, she knew for a fact that Rico, Carmen's boyfriend was much more attentive than what Vada was dished out, evidently in the rinse cycle of her love life. And they (Rico and Vada) didn't really have a chance for something to happen. Yes, she'd been busy back then. Hobnobbing, as Justin would say.

But she felt a headache coming on.

"Are you sure, something isn't bothering you?"

"No, of course not." But it was Justin. Yes, he was smoking again. And it might have been weed. But she wouldn't know it since she never did such rot. 

Yes, she might have looked grim. It was hard to be pretty all the time. Sammie didn't even wear makeup. But Vada had to cover her dark circles. No one needed to know of her misery.

"It's just," she was on the brink of tears. "Why didn't we move in together? Just you and me." She knew it would have been so much better.

Of course, Sammie reached out to give her a hug. "I know you don't like being alone, but it might be for the best if..if you got your own place. You don't have to be with Justin."

Vada got herself together. No way was she going to give him up. There were certain things about him that she needed. But conversation wasn't one of them.

Now We Got Problems

 

Thank God, Sammie was home alone. Actually, Carmen didn't know how to bring this up. But Sammie had brownies and they settled down for coffee and brownies as there was a chance of rain.

"You know, Rico wants us to move in together," Carmen started.

Sammie nodded as if she knew. "He can hardly wait?" Sammie's serious big eyes looked at her as if she knew what Carmen's summer would bring.

"We haven't even gotten through Prom," Carmen pressed her lips tight, but then told her friend she'd never gone to prom. Naturally, Sammie smiled as if she wanted to help.

"I'll make whatever you want, just send me a picture of it," Sammie agreed she would most definitely make it a night to remember.

"God, that is..." Carmen sighed. "If we are still together." That's when she told Sammie how she and Rico needed to talk about that touchy subject, Sex. Carmen made a face of disgust. "He seems to want to wait, once we move in together."

"Oh." Sammie looked around. "Well, as far as I know there was just Liv, and it seemed he started to think she only wanted him for sex."

This kind of cracked Carmen up. "Is he that good?" Then Sammie laughed. Carmen felt bad for saying it. Sure, they kissed from time to time. It was sort of one of those scheduled things in the last ten minutes before she made it to the door, at home. Usually, he stayed in the car. It wasn't that she didn't feel anything for him romantically. She did, but the timing felt all wrong. And she was certain if he knew of her past, it would be over. So she did her best to keep calm and think about her own future. A future that didn't have to be with him. 

"Well, he is a genuine brother," Sammie did admit she thought he was much more caring than her half-brother Mario who was Rico's brother, too. "I dunno. I don't think that's what he meant. I think he felt like she wasn't really there for him. Like she just had her needs. She didn't like where he worked, and I think she hated sneaking around. I dunno, it could be she was just having a hard time in her life."

Carmen nodded as if she understood. "But he might not be that understanding when it comes to me."

"I'm sure he'd listen," Sammie told her as she freshened Carmen's coffee. Carmen nibbled on the fudgy brownie. Somehow, Sammie always made it easy to talk.

"But.. but should I tell him, everything?" Carmen was even-lipped as if she might be preparing for War Stories.

"Whatever you feel comfortable with," Sammie shrugged.

"I don't know if I'm comfortable with any of it," Carmen told her.

"Well, it is the past. Maybe its for the best to leave it there." 

Sammie made it sound so simple. Carmen sighed.

"It's just I have made a few mistakes," she admitted. "But I've been on the pill and you know, I've taken care of myself. I never wanted to be my sister."

"Believe me, my mom had me on the pill as soon as I started high school," Sammie said. "She told me it was for my acne."

"But.. but you don't even have a blemish," Carmen stared at her best friend.

"Precisely," Sammie laughed. They went back to the coffee and brownies. Of course, Sammie packed up some brownies for Carmen to take home.

And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

 

It was finally settled. Bren and Mario would live down the street from their two Dads.

"It kind of makes them sound like a couple, you know."

Eddie smiled about as if he hoped to reach that goal one day with Roman. Bren only sighed with a smile and ruffled his bangs making his hair stand up.  Yes, Eddie and Roman had done a lot in their free time for the house, like painting and moving. Eddie made curtains for every room, even the nursery. Yes, it was happening.

Funny, she didn't think it would be like this. She kept thinking Liv would be here to help and Rico would be by her side. She hated to live in the past, but sometimes, she couldn't help herself.

"I'm not sure what we have gotten ourselves into," she shook her head about the two dads situation. They might as well have moved in with them. Although, her dad swore he would always call before he dropped in. After all, this was his first grandchild. 

"Do you ever  hear from your brother?" Eddie wanted to know  as he was putting some final touches on the livingroom with extra pillows he'd made from the scraps of curtians.

Bren drew a blank. She'd just about forgot she had one.

"Holden? Uh, no." She told him she heard from Dora all the time. So she guessed he knew. Maybe. But there were doubts. Sometimes, it felt as if this time had been a lonely period in her life. Although, she kept busy. She made meals for her dad and a couple of others, but everyone wanted her to be thinking about the baby now, not on her feet cooking.

Sure, she caught up on the Bridgerton series in her reading and even on Netflix. And she knew life would surely change, especially with all the kicks from the baby. Undoubtedly, she knew the baby would be more like Mario than herself. 

Oh, they read books aloud all the time to the baby. It was sweet how Mario was so attentive. Yet, she wished she would give his little sister a chance. Sammie always brought something over for them, but Mario always acted as if he didn't notice. 

Caitlin would always be his favorite when it came to little sisters. She still didn't know why. She liked Sammie better. Caitlin was busy. Sometimes, she wished Rico and Sammi had gotten together. Of course, that would be silly, she knew. Mario might really go off the deep end. She smiled about it now as she touched her stomach, thinking maybe Sammi would be next to have a baby. She knew Rico had a lot of growing up to do with Carmen. She guessed she was happy for the two of them.

"What's so funny?" Eddie turned to her now.

"Oh, nothing," Bren kept smiling. She wanted to embrace these small moments, gearing up for a new chapter in her life meant having patience and she hated to admit as much as she waited for so many things to change in her life it was never easy, even if everyone told her that she made it look so easy.

I wish you'd come back

 "OH MY GOD!" Ali was thrilled when she saw Liv's face on the phone screen. "I can't believe I finally I got you!" Still, she could see Liv wasn't that happy that she'd answered the call.

Ali did her best to keep upbeat. It was no big thing or so she kept telling herself.  Sure, Liv was apologetic. It seemed she had a lot going on these days.

"Its not too late to talk, is it?" Ali kept even-lipped. She did her best not to be fangirling over her best friend. Liv was still her best friend. Ali hadn't found a way to replace her. Liv asked about Ali's boyfriend Diago, her other best friend.

"It's good." She'd keep it simple. Their attraction hadn't burned out. She wasn't sure what they were doing that was so right, but Ali didn't question it. 

"So what's up?" Liv asked as if she knew something was happening if it wasn't about Ali's boyfriend, then who.

Ali told her about how Prom was almost here and there was graduation by the end of May. She didn't want there to be any problems. Still, she didn't know what to do about Cleo.

"Oh, well..I don't think you remember Cleo."

"Cleo?" Liv winced as if it might be a trick question.

"Leo, that's who you might remember."

"Leo? The guy who liked to steal your lunch," Liv nodded as she stared at Ali.

"He didn't steal lunches." Ali would stand up for Leo/Cleo. "He..I mean she is going by Cleo now."

"Oh." Liv didn't sound interested.

"Cleo is working at Mel's now," Ali told her that it was Rox's first hire.

"Rox?" Liv winced. "She works there? I thought she was at the Coffee Shop?"

"Oh, she left there a while ago. She's not with that guy you remember, but she's with Elvis now," Ali told her. "Cleo is a friend of Elvis'."

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Liv sighed as if she was glad not to be around these people.

"It's just, it's very hard to know what to say around Cleo," Ali confessed.

"Now that's pretty hilarious," Liv smiled.

"Why are you saying that?" Ali winced as if Liv wasn't taking her seriously.

"Now you know, how I felt when you were transitioning. It was a very moody time."

Liv's smile was quick. "Look, I'm sure Cleo might never appreciate you as much as you wished, but I am sure they are glad you are there for them."

Ali sighed. She guessed she needed to hear that. Although, she never remembered being quite as unhappy as Cleo who looked to be living their darkest days.

How about we not talk about this?

 

This was so aggravating. Sunny was in a stomp. Was Liv trying to talk her out of something?

"Well, I've given it a lot of thought," Sunny swelled a frown. "And I don't care how foolish you think I am, but..but I want to go to Louie's."

She sat at the kitchen table watching Liv put the dishes away from the dishwasher.

"Why, so you can have Chewy over, all the time?" Liv gave her a look that that could be no good.

"What!" Sunny had a good laugh over that one.

"What's so funny?" Liv wanted to know.

"You're confused girl," Sunny told her that she wasn't going there to be with Chewy. 

"Then why?" Liv was so serious.

"So I can get away from you guys!" Sunny yelled.

"What did we do?" 

Sunny thought Liv looked like a cartoon character with her silly attitude.

"Um, you're too cute for me," Sunny tilted her head with a smirk. "I don't like you."

"Oh, so now you tell me."

"And you're not going anywhere." 

Sunny was in her usual pout. "And I have a whole room full of stuff that's Hart's. And it's mine." Sunny's eyes grew big as if it was a late Christmas present.

"Woo isn't going to let you go," Liv was all matter of fact. 

"We'll, see about that," Sunny went to her room. It was time to start packing. Of course, she didn't think she could move much. Hart had a closet of stuff. So much stuff. What was she going to do with it?