What a wonderful world

 

It felt like the little wins were adding up. Actually, it baffled Randy at times. He'd somehow managed to get his driver's license and even a car. Of course, Jared had helped him more than Justin these days. 

He was much calmer to help him learn to drive and what to know about a vehicle. And in his network of coworkers, he'd found him a deal on a good car. Still, Randy felt he was waiting for something to go wrong.

He kept his job at Goodwill along with the writing gig, and when Monica came home with the possibility of getting a job, he was suddenly optimistic.

Of course, he wasn't sure if it was optimal for her or for them. 

"Do you think I can do it?" Her question surprised him.

"Why can't you?" He shrugged. "You might even like the job."

One thing Randy had learned was to like a job. Sure, there was plenty to dislike about a job sometimes, especially with as many things he had to haul around and put away at the store, but he enjoyed seeing the people he worked with and met. 

Still, he could see that Monica was nervous and he told her there was nothing to be nervous about. She had Carmen and Jade to help her. "You'll do fine."

She smiled with a nod. They went on to make dinner together, even if it was an omelette and salad. It still felt like a celebration even if she hadn't started working yet.

Don't let insecure thoughts ruin something amazing.

 Monica was glad to catch up with Carmen, but she didn't know it would be lunch. It felt unexpected. They never went anywhere together. Sure, she asked how the boys (Randy and Tristan) were treating her.

"Oh, you know," Monica shrugged, unsure where this conversation was going. They were at the new taco place and eventually got their food in the crowded place. "Tristan is Tristan, and Randy, well, things are good." After all, Randy was her best friend; she didn't really have any of her own. There were acquaintances from classes, but she didn't go places with any of them. They didn't even text.

Carmen talked about the house and their dog for a while.  "Velvet couldn't care less about me. Justin is who she loves." She ate so quickly, crunching on chips and salsa. Monica could hardly keep up.

Finally, she got around to telling her about her coworker Jade, who was going to have a baby. Just as Monica was finishing up her first taco, Carmen mentioned she was leaving that job and going into nursing at the hospital. "I was wondering if you'd be interested in the job?"

Monica practically froze. She couldn't imagine working at the dance and gym. She cleared her throat.

"Well, what would I have to do?"

"The guys who work at the gym usually do all the hard stuff, mainly you'd be at the counter. Nothing really big."

It would be big for Monica because she'd never had a job. She felt a little faint. She felt as if she could hardly see straight. Here was the opportunity Randy had always talked about, and she didn't feel confident. Not really. But it didn't matter. Everyone would want her to do it. 

"Sure," she found herself sputtering. She did her best to smile, wondering what she was getting herself into.

Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant

 "Holy cow, he's huge!" Carmen remarked. Kia was definitely a heavy twenty-something-pound baby.  He looked older than five months to her, but then again, she wasn't very good at telling a baby's age. Kia was big, and Sammy was tiny.

Naturally, Carmen brought some disposable diapers for the baby. She hoped they fit. When Sammy put him on the baby activity blanket, he rolled over right away, looking up at the ceiling, a little dizzy. They both smiled at his achievement. By his moves, she had a feeling Sammy would be busy.

"So, you have news, I guess?" Sammy sounded as if Carmen might be joining the Mommie club as she was putting the baby stuff away.

"Oh no," Carmen smiled. "We have Velvet now, you know, and well, she loves Justin."

Sammy hugged herself for a moment, but went to get Kia, who was never too far from her.

"I did get on at the hospital," Carmen told her. "It's just I hate leaving Jade like this. She just found out she'll have a baby in November."

Sammy nodded, but she said she had her hands full. She couldn't do it. She said if she did go back to work, it would probably be in Child Care. She went to get each of them some lemonade. They sat at the dining table while Sammy gave him a bottle.

"I thought Gabe's mom was going to take care of the baby?" Carmen looked at Sammie blankly as if she could let someone close take care of Kia.

"I know she said that, but it was just wishful thinking. She hasn't retired. She loves her job, and well, she's at Cam's. I just feel they need this time for each other. After all, Kang found his own apartment. So it's just the two of them now," Sammy explained.

Carmen nodded, wishing she could say something for Sammy to take over her job at the dance studio.

"I know it'll be a good opportunity for someone," Sammy said. Someone who was college-age would be right for the job. "You'll think of someone."

Carmen's smile was quick. She thought she knew who might be perfect for the job.

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem

 

"What the hell was that about?" Ari said under his breath. He couldn't help but be wide-eyed about all this strangeness. First, Jade tells her best friend (who so happened to live on the other side of the earth) first about the baby, and not him, and then has her co-worker rattle him with guilt.

He gave Jade the phone and asked. "Have you even made an appointment yet?" He assumed she'd only taken a pregnancy test.

"What? You don't believe me?" She gave him a doe-in-the-headlights look.

"I didn't say that. You just need some tests, and all. You know, like when will the baby be due?"

"Don't get mad at me about this," she fretted.

"I'm not. I love you." He felt puzzled about all this. "I just want everything to go OK. I want us to have a baby girl, just like you." He put his arms around her, yet he felt he needed to be extra careful. "I'll go with you."

Jade nodded.

"Let's just order pizza," Ari said. There was a chance of snow, and it was still cold and windy. He would take care of a salad. He knew it was best to stay in. 

She got on her phone to look up nearby OBGYNs. She finally called her sister to ask about her doctor.

He was glad she could share the news with her sister. They were on the phone for quite a while. He filled salad bowls with greens and cucumbers, along with baby tomatoes and black olives. It felt as if he might be on nightly kitchen duty now. He guessed he'd have to study up on foods for two. 

This might be their last time for pizza for a while.

I just want to smile the way I used to

 "What? She's pregnant?" 

This shocked Carmen. Jade didn't even mention it to her at work. Suddenly, Carmen felt she'd taken Jade's happy news from her. She drew in a frown when Justin told her the news. 

"What's wrong?" Justin was already feeding Velvet a snack, and she hadn't even done anything to deserve it other than crawl up in his lap.

"Oh, she didn't tell me. That's all." She watched the two of them together. No, she wasn't jealous. She couldn't be jealous of a dog. She went to the kitchen and started an egg bake. She put the sausage in the skillet with a sprinkle of water so it wouldn't brown too harshly. She found herself being noisy with the pots and pans.

"Are you OK in there?" Justin called from the living room. Of course, he was playing around with Velvet.

"Go get your coat and take her outside now!" She practically demanded. This was not the way she had wanted a dog to be. The dog was supposed to be her pet, her companion. And yeah, she felt a little guilty about the whole thing with Jade.

She grabbed her phone and leaned against the kitchen counter, giving the meat a stir before she called Jade. She multitasked, getting out the eggs and the shredded cheese.

"Are you OK?" Carmen began apologizing for running her mouth off about the new job at the hospital. "Justin told me you've got some new news too."

"Oh, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm mad. I don't know, it's so overwhelming," Jade confessed. "I didn't even tell Ari I  called Liv first."

Carmen heard Jade sniff back tears. 

"What happened?"

Carmen cracked an egg with one hand into the rectangular Pyrex and then another until she used up five eggs. She grabbed the milk to splash some on the eggs and seasoned it with garlic pepper, red pepper, and nutmeg.

"Don't be afraid of Ari," Carmen told. "He said he was OK about starting a family, and now he's got a bad case of morning sickness. He's acting like a three-year-old."

Meanwhile, she whisked the eggs, dotted the sausage on top, and spread cheese over the eggs, doing her best to sink the cheese into the eggs. She put the casserole in the oven.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Carmen snapped as if she'd set him straight.

"It's OK, we'll talk tonight after dinner." But Jade's voice sounded like a trainwreck.

"I want to talk to him," Carmen demanded. "I need to tell him something." She said with such authority that Jade went to give Ari the phone, who was off at his computer playing a video game.

"Listen," she said as she got him on the phone. "If you're going to be this way about Jade having a baby, then I don't want you around Justin."

"What?" Ari's voice sounded stunned.

"If you can't be a good role model, then I don't want you around him. You go and make up with Jade. Right now! She needs to be happy all the time if you want a happy baby." She hung up then, a bit dizzy. Yes, she was going crazy, unsure why. But Jade was important to her, and so was Justin.

it's going to be fine, fine, fine

 "Well, I'm just-" Ari didn't know how to explain it to Justin about finding out accidentally that Jade was pregnant when she was on the phone with Liv. He felt shattered. Why hadn't she told him first?

"I know it's a lot to absorb, you know, being a dad," Justin said. He bought him a cup of coffee, and they sat down in the dining area for people who were waiting for their loved ones in surgery at the large hospital. Honestly, it was like working on a spaceship at times. So much order, yet came a certain freedom to have a break from their schedule. "You'll read up on it. You two are the best. You'll see."

Suddenly, listening to Justin was like listening to a commercial. Justin didn't know. How would he? Still, he knew this was his problem. His and Jade's problem. Communication.  Ari nodded and took a sip of the creamed coffee.

Justin mentioned how they had a dog now, and with Carmen's new job at the hospital, he was afraid they'd have to take the dog to doggie daycare.

Ari couldn't help but laugh. It was good not to be in this state he was in. Although his stomach felt like he might be coming down with something. Ari sighed, doing his best to keep his nerves in check. He knew what he should be thinking. Congrats were in order. Only he was certain having a baby would be something wedged between them, and he was certain he'd be jealous.

He hated to feel that way. But this feeling just wouldn't go away. She hadn't told him first about the baby. Honestly, he didn't want to listen to any more about a French bulldog named Velvet. What the hell had gotten into Justin?

At this point, Ari was starting to think they'd needed a pet of some kind to get them ready for a baby. Still, the cost of a pet just made him cringe. Money was always a factor that bothered him and everything was so expensive these days. Was that why Jade hadn't said anything? 

"Look, you just have to embrace the situation. You can't fight it," his close friend told him. "I know we are a lot alike. You are like a brother I never had." Justin looked him in the eye. "You, be there for Jade. I  know you want to be. It'll be good. Just think positive."

Ari knew he wasn't smiling even when he was trying. But no way did he want to argue with Jade. Ari nodded. He'd see this through in some way.

Standing in the shadows of love

 

"Well," Jade wanted Liv to be the first to know. She still wasn't sure how she was going to tell Ari, because she could see it in his eyes how defensive he'd be. Yet, he knew how much she wanted it and had at least decided to let it happen. Because these days, it didn't look feasible.

"Well, what?" Jade heard the laugh in Liv's voice.

"I'm pregnant!" She shouted with excitement. 

"Really?" Liv congratulated her soon enough. "So how are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling just fine," Jade bit a grin. She guessed she felt fine. Was it bad if she didn't feel fine?

"I'm so happy for you," her friend cheered her with lots of compliments. It was good to talk to Liv about pregnancies and babies. Still, she was a bit nervous. Although there was always her sister to talk to. Only, they hadn't had a chance.

Why did Jade have this sudden doubt? Did everyone feel this way? She wanted to be confident. She was healthy. She didn't smoke. She didn't drink alcohol. Still, she felt something might go wrong. The phone call was short, and of course, when she got off the phone, Ari said. "I already heard."

Jade sighed as if she were an idiot for not telling him first. "Sorry." She found herself saying, but actually she wasn't. Sometimes, she felt he held all the cards in this relationship. It didn't feel exactly equal, even if they did everything together, from chores to meals, but there was that money issue. And she knew exactly what he was thinking about. Like, how much longer could they live here?

It was a two-bedroom apartment, but the guestroom had turned into storage lately. Jade sighed and decided best to get breakfast taken care of, which turned out to be overnight oats and extra fruit. He didn't have much to say. She knew he didn't totally hate the idea of being a father, but she knew he'd never be satisfied. Or was it? She was never satisfied.

By the time she got to work, she wanted to break down and tell Carmen everything. Her issues with Ari, marriage, and babyhood. Yes, she'd cried all the way to work in her car, in traffic. No, she wasn't feeling well, after all. The coffee was awful. Even the overnight oats didn't taste right. She did her best not to swell a frown when she got to her desk. Carmen was already there. She had a spring cupcake waiting for Jade.

"What's this for?" Jade looked a bit bewildered. Did Carmen already know her news? Carmen smiled back as if this were the happiest day ever. Maybe she was pregnant too?

"I got on at the hospital." Yes, she was finally going to be on duty as a nurse. "I put in my two-week notice."

There was something resilient about Carmen. Jade envied her so much.