What's the message? Will you show me the way?

 "Are you sure it's going all right?" Carmen's question, over the phone, made Monica question herself about the new job at the dance studio.

"I think so." She knew everyone was nice to her, and Jade did take most of the workload. However, Monica couldn't stop her, even if she wanted to. Yes, there were times she was idle, and she felt bad about that. "I know I should be doing more."

"How so?" Carmen sounded tired from her new job at the hospital. Monica was shocked to even get a phone call from her so late in the evening.

"Oh, it's nothing. You know, it's like, Jade knows how to do everything. I just wish she'd let me do more." Monica finally let slip.

"Just keep watching her and ask as many questions as you can," Carmen told her. There would be a day when she might have to do everything.

Monica gritted. She hoped she would be ready. Jade's baby bump was growing. Of course, she knew she would trouble herself wondering why she wasn't prepared enough. Honestly, she'd never thought of these circumstances when she was younger. All she'd worried about was her wardrobe and makeup. Now those things were on the back burner.

If that wasn't enough, there were thoughts of wondering if she was or wasn't in a relationship with Randy. Yes, she didn't like to admit it, but he'd always think it was purely platonic. But he usually had dinner waiting for her when she got home. And he'd listen to her go on about her day, yet it seemed he didn't want to talk about his. 

Tristan had moved out with Olivia. He never came over to check on them anymore. Frankly, it was too quiet, but she wasn't going to focus on this with Randy. She was beginning to think she didn't know him after all, just like he said.

And even listening to Carmen with all her hacks about the job at the dance store was so overwhelming that she found herself in tears.  When would anything really change? The days were churning into weeks, and months would go by. Yes, this longing she had for Randy was drifting. The truth was sinking in. She needed to find her own joy within.

The start of the season

 

It might as well have been the first grilling of the season at Cam's. Gabe was glad to see everyone. He felt there was a lot of catching up to do with everyone. Especially, his brother Pan, who was still with Wade, but there were some troubles which neither would speak of, and neither did he.

It was Mother's Day, and their Mom was still with Cam. They had brought her flowers, and of course, the biggest gift of all was Kia showing how, at six months, he was strong enough to crawl. Yeah, he was a busybody, and Gabe knew he'd figure out how to climb soon enough.

It was supposed to be brunch, but no way would that happen with so many who had to have barbecue. So the waffles with strawberries ended up being a happy ending for a few of them, but Gabe was too full of deviled eggs and ribs.

For the first time, there was no alcohol, and Gabe was OK with that. Everyone knew Pan shouldn't drink. And Gabe sensed something was troubling Pan, who was giving everyone the silent treatment. Although he did pull out this phone a time or two to show off last year's trip to Montana, where they got to actually herd some cattle out on a Cowboy Camp. Lots of Chuck Wagon foodie pics, too. Evidently, Cam's ribs couldn't compare, but Gabe always enjoyed whatever Cam cooked.

Naturally, Rico showed up alone. Mona was spending Mother's Day with her mother. He assured everyone that everything was perfectly fine. Too perfect, in fact, or at least from Gabe's perspective. He knew everything was perfect as long as Rico did what he was told. Gabe was tired of feeling sorry for Rico. Evidently, he was a fool in love and always would be with Mona. Gabe wanted to tell him he was an idiot, but knew it wouldn't do much good.

Near the end, Sammie found him. She gave him the baby to hold. He took to him like he was a Daddy's boy. 

"Evidently, you were nice to everyone, weren't you?" She grinned.

"I was." He looked at her as if he were more of a kid than Kia ever would be.

"Good," she nodded. "I thought you would be." She got out her phone to take a picture of Gabe and Pan with their mother. Then Wade took a photo with Sammie's phone camera of Sammie included with the family. Afterwards, Rico called his dad over to be in a family photo, including Wade, as well. 

Little did Gabe know that there would be plenty of photos taken of the extended family, but Kia had had enough long before too many more could get in the picture. It was time to go home.

Standing in the Shadows of Love

 Nori felt a little numb when she heard the news from Mel. The lump of emotion lodged in her throat, and she didn't know what to say. Finally, she sputtered a "Congratulations!" She couldn't think of what else to say.

"Well, what  is it?" Jared looked at her, little bug-eyed, as if maybe he already knew.

"They're going to have a baby,"

"Wow, really? When?" He looked at her blankly as if he needed to pop a bottle of champagne or something, but all they had was ZERO SUGAR Gatorade. He poured the orange drink into glasses and added a little Bubly for good measure.

"She said, but..but I forgot." Actually, she might have gone deaf. It was the strangest thing. She didn't know why she reacted this way. After all, Mel was her closest friend. She told Nori that she wanted her to be the first to know. 

She sank into her dining chair and held the drink. She looked up at Jared, thinking he was expecting to hear any day that she was expecting, too. But she'd always told herself she didn't need kids, and deep down, she knew that's what he actually wanted. But she kept thinking, he was just a sex-driven Englishman. 

After a while, she did know he was the type who wanted to be married and to have a family, but she hadn't really put that much thought into why he was like that. He'd grown up with someone he moved in with when he was back in England, but even then, he'd told her that marriage was something he'd never brought up till near the end, which was bad timing. 

Still, she worried about his alcoholism. But lately, he was taking medication for his depression and anxieties and having an active lifestyle, without falling back into the rut he'd known since his pre-teens. She didn't dare think how long this might last. What if he fell off the wagon?

Nori was fond of him. There were so many sexy ways she enjoyed with him, but in the back of her mind, she wondered if any of this would last. She'd hate to give him up. There was a certain attraction, and she grasped at it as long as she could before he might go off the deep end, again.

Yet, she had to admit, he was her only child, and she was still trying to raise him well to be a good husband. Maybe they were already there, and she didn't even know it.

"Now, don't you go thinking we need a baby anytime soon," Nori practically snapped as if he thought this kind of thing with Mel might be contagious. Somebody had to be the grown-up around here, and he did need to be nagged from time to time to get things done at home. Like helping with chores and, of course, Chica. "She is good practice for you." Nori pursed her lips. "She's our fur baby."

This is how it is

 "I just don't get it?" Kevin's question woke Mel to the fact that he didn't think she was a very good friend to Nori. He hadn't said anything in days. He was so quiet. She knew something was bothering him, but she didn't ask. Besides, they had schedules to keep, and he did all the cooking anyway while she was with her pup or keeping up with the laundry. But she'd decided tonight she'd help with the stew. The temps had dropped again, and she didn't want to be outside any longer than she had to be.

"What? What are you talking about?" She kept her back to him as if she didn't want to even know what he was getting at. "We've been best friends, since..since I don't know when." They'd met at the Metro College. Neither was successful at the University, so they were both figuring on getting some skills needed for the workforce. Although she knew Nori was much smarter than Mel expected, that hadn't made her resent her in any way.

"I can't believe you talk to each other like that," Kevin said, knowing. Jared told him. 

Mel practically rolled her eyes as she peeled potatoes near the sink while he was sautéing the beef chunks with garlic. The scent was so overwhelming that Mel thought she might be ill, but she went on with her chore, trying to think how she could explain her friendship with Nori.

"We, we..are such good friends we can say whatever we want without hurting each other's feelings," she turned to him who had his back to her. "We've known each other that long. We know..We know we're both chunky girls." She didn't want to say fat. "Maybe..maybe I would be a little out of sorts if Nori lost weight and I didn't. I don't think so. It's just who we are."

"Mel, that's no way to treat a friend," Kevin snarled back. "I wouldn't want you talking to me that way."

"Of course, I wouldn't." Mel squinted back. She sighed then, feeling woozy, like she might not be able to stay on her feet. She felt lightheaded, her vision was blurring. She squinted harder.

"What's the matter?" Kevin asked, switching off the burner and rushing to her.

"I'm sure I'm OK." Mel dropped the potato peeler and held on to the kitchen counter.

"Mel, you know how you are. You're never sick because you say you never are when maybe that's just a lie."  His words hurt to hear, but she'd show up at work even if she had a headache, even a fever. She kept going. But now he was heading out the door with her to the car and she wasn't stopping him from taking her to the emergency room.

There she goes

 Kevin was in charge of the smoked meats, and Jared was helping. They'd invited Justin and Carmen over for a low-key cookout, which Kevin had to admit smelled wonderful. Hopefully, it would taste just as good. The girls tended to the sides in the kitchen. He could hear laughter. He suspected they might all be sipping white wine.

He soon found out all Mel was offering was seltzer water. 

"What  could be so funny?" He asked Justin who was bringing out Lite beers for the guys.

"Just being silly, I guess." He shrugged with a sigh. "They seem to enjoy putting each other down."

"Why?" Kevin winced.

"It's a Midwest thing," Jared tossed in some input with a fat grin as he took a sip of the bottled beer.

"It's a milinal thing," Justin clarified, as if he'd been observing this behavior for a long time.

"Crazy," Kevin had never noticed it as he sipped a beer.

"Who knows, I think they just like calling each other bitches," Jared laughed.

"Well, how do you know when they aren't mad?"

"I do not know, I stay out of it, but I think it's something Nori and Mel do to each other a lot, especially about their weight. It's like they'd hate for the other to lose any weight." Jared shrugged.

Kevin tended to the meat with care, even splashing it with a little beer. Steam and smoke got in his face, but it didn't bother him a bit. This was his domain, even if he was sporting cargo pants and a hoodie. It wasn't completely spring these days with snow showers in the forecast.

"Things will change once we all have kids. They won't talk that way around each other," Justin waved his beer around as if he might know more than the other two.

"Yeah, right," Jared wasn't convinced.

It was quiet then. They didn't hear laughter from the kitchen. There was still a winter chill in the air as the sun was going down. Kevin shivered slightly with a sigh. He wasn't sure what to expect, but at least when he came in with the meat, everyone acted like a grown-up. Maybe he was worried for nothing.

Go ahead, what was it we were waiting for?

 "Well, you're always here," Olivia looked at Tristan, blankly. "You're probably a menace back at your apartment." She crossed her arms, trying to decide if this was the right thing to do. Ask Tristan to move in.

They worked together at the Zoo hospital, which was working out better than she ever thought. She was learning so much about animals that weren't domestic. And she and Tristan were partners.

"Now I'm Tristan the Menace," he pouted back and then smiled. He was chopping away at some veg to make a stew. He'd already made a loaf of quick bread that he hadn't put in the oven yet. He could be so busy in the kitchen. Olivia was used to microwave meals from the grocery store.

Olivia gritted a grin. Honestly, she'd never been around someone who loved homemade food. It was nice, but sometimes, he left a mess behind, so she did her best to clean up while he cooked. 

"You know what I mean, maybe Randy and Monica could be on their own. You're hardly there."

"I sleep there, you know." He looked at her seriously, as if he had a part-time job he needed to see to.

"Yeah, if I wake you up when you're on the couch snoozing." This was his bad habit. She knew he wanted to be here, but then they hadn't exactly been completely intimate, either. There was that time he kissed her as if it were an accident. Like maybe she was his magnet to his steel. But he caught himself from going any further as if he might spoil the situation.

"I just want you to be happy," Tristan finally said. "I know you need your space, and I don't mean to be taking so much of it."

He stirred in the carrots and spinach into the pot before it started bubbling.

"I am happy," She smiled back at him. 

He wrapped his arms around her, even if he did smell of garlic. "I just jump into the deep end with much thought, you know."

He looked down at her with his hair in his eyes. She looked up at him with an open smile.

"How about we just do a trial run. See how it goes and just let it happen." Olivia felt he was holding back, and she wasn't certain why. What was he not telling her? She knew he'd been pretty rotten as a teenager, but she didn't think it was entirely his fault. She didn't think about his past as if he might still feel he should be punished.

"OK," He laughed, then as if this was the best news he'd heard. He kissed her forehead, swaying her about as if she had better get to know him.

Come what may

 "I think we're OK now," Jade said about her and Ari to her sister Jewel as they headed to the mall for a bit of a celebration after her visit to the OBGYN. Jade now had a doctor, and at the moment, everything was going well. She was glad Ari had gone with her. It was exciting to see how far along she was. Actually, longer than she imagined. "It's just I thought I had more time to get ready, you know."

"Well, it's not like you have a few weeks. You've got months to think about the baby's room."

Jade nodded. She was already at the three-month mark. "I just thought I would be on top of it, you know."

Her sister laughed at her. "It's OK. Don't worry. You are doing great."

Jade guessed she was right. She had been extra careful lately about nutrition. She hadn't drunk alcohol in well over a year, and she very much ate protein and veg. "Caffeine has been the hardest. I still need a cup of coffee to get going in the morning."

"Don't we all," Jewell confessed. She lived on caffeine these days.

"But are you sure it's helping?" Jade didn't mean to be nagging, but she knew her sister had stomach issues, too.

"I know, it's just if I drink coffee, then I'm not hungry." Her sister shrugged about the matter as they went into the mall, just to find so many shops closed.

"When did this happen?" Jade asked.

"I guess they can't afford to keep a big place like this going. I dunno. You'd think they'd just lock it up if all the stores were closed." Jewel felt it was sad seeing malls being left behind.

They found a little library in one of the nooks where free books were for the taking. Jade sighed as she thumbed through the shelves. It was a cozy area with soft couches. Although she had to wonder who was hanging out in the malls these days.

"I hear they are making lofts on the top floor. It seems it's for the low income." Jewell told her.

"Really?" It all felt so strange. But so many things were changing in the world.

"Remember, when we came here at Christmas just to see a Christmas marathon of movies," Jade smiled at the memory. "The place was thick with people then."

"Yes, I thought I was going to lose you. The theater was packed. We squeezed in the front row while Mom and Dad were in the back." Jewell remembered. Now there were just mall walkers.

"I guess we'd better go out to Shadow Lake." It would be a drive, and it was always windy there. At one time, it was just a cornfield, but now a huge grocery store is there, and many of their favorite shops. Even so,  there was a bookstore with such expensive books. All they could afford these days was a visit to 5 Below or Dollar Tree.