Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Through the epic unconcious stance



 Weezer slept like a log. He was dreaming about a sunny day in the city somewhere. The could have possibly been speaking in Chinese but everyone was happy. Also, he felt as if his bed was too warm. It wasn't until he reached for the alarm he noticed somebody was holding onto his waist. He was on his side and very well dressed for bed.

Weezer didn't know what to think. He winced with sleep, thinking it was just a dream, but it was Nonnie. He unlatched her arms around him and she moved sluggishly in the early morning hours. He put his arm around her. Maybe it was best not to say anything. Of course, he smiled, thinking this could last just a little bit longer. He didn't want to get out of bed. But she stretched out her arm and almost hit his nose.

He should probably let her sleep more. He had no idea when she got in bed. So he went to pee and start the day, stumbling and fumbling along the way. 

Nic was already up and the coffee was on. Weezer looked at the ceiling wondering what he could say. What would Nic think?

He got himself some coffee and milk and nursed it a bit at the dining table while Nic made toast and got out the peanut butter and grape jam.

"Nonnie stayed over," Weezer said as if it was something she always did. Nic nodded. 

"What if she moves in with me?" Weezer wanted to know what that would mean.

"Um, you two can decide on the rent," he shrugged. "I mainly just need fifty a week, for groceries."

"Yeah, right," Weezer thought he should take care of that. "What if she brings home pizza?"

"I guess I could cut it down to thirty," Nic nodded.

"Sweet." Weezer smiled. About then Nonnie, in just her baggy tee and leggings, arrived and went straight to the coffee. She stared at the both of them. Her lips twitched slightly.

"Rox..Rox wants to give me a kitten. Can..can I have one?"

"What's it's name?" Nic wanted to know.

"Oh, um Monster." She shrugged.

"We have to come up with a better name than that," Nic told her. "When can we see it?"

"Pretty soon," she nodded.

Monday, January 30, 2023

Silence that isn't awkward



 Oh course, Pan was famished and was all smiles when she got home with a Big Mac, fries and a milkshake just for him.

"What is he? An angel or something?" True, neither had ever had a friend like Ari. Naturally, they both wondered what he wanted from them.

"Maybe..maybe..he's just a nice guy," Rox said about him. She would hate to bring up the fact that Ari might feel sorry for them. 

Really, they did need to handle their money better. But it had not helped that Pan accidentally paid off the credit card and their bank account went under. He was forbidden to go on Amazon now. If she played her cards right with her mom she would be going to the grocery store with her and they could at least get milk and eggs. 

Thankfully, he'd done all his smoking in the car on the drive home. He said it was too cold to go out again. It wasn't long after the fast food, he headed for bed.

But Rox felt a little wired. She didn't know why. Maybe it was because she hadn't heard from her friend in Pennsylvania since Christmas. Rox looked back through the TEXT on her phone, but found nothing and was really too tired to even think what she could message to her. No way did she want a drunken phone call from her this late.

And then a knock came on her door. Rox couldn't imagine who it might be. It was after eleven. She opened the door with just a crack with the chain up. It was little Nonnie. She looked completely exhausted, but those big eyes were ever so serious.

"Do you need a kitten fix?" Rox smiled.

"I guess." Her voice was quiet and they went to the box to see the warm mess of babies nursing on their momma.

"I don't want to disturb them," Nonnie said.

"Oh, she's not gonna mind. Believe me, they are completely pacified," Rox said as she reached for the one that Nonnie loved. "Here you go."

The kitten came out crying, but was used to Nonnie's smell and attached itself to her hoodie.

"I can't go home," Nonnie said. "And..and I don't know how to tell Weezer-"

"You know he understands you," Rox said. "You wouldn't have to say much."

"I know, but..but I..I shouldn't..I just don't want-"

"Stop this shit," Rox said barely above a whisper. "Just let it go. Whatever it is. We all make bad decisions. Nobody's perfect. We can't have perfect lives. But I know, the hardest thing is to forgive yourself. As soon as you can do that, you can go on. Just don't look back. Keep going. Just think of the good things that will come. If you'll just let it."

Nonnie was crying. 

"Give this kitten a good home. I'm counting on you and Weezer." Rox told her. 

Saturday, January 28, 2023

like a white-out in your soul


 

Nonnie slit the leggings in the crotch and wore them as sleeves under her Pizza uniform tee, but as the night had ended she put them back on as leggings under the shorts she'd worn during work.

"God, you're a genius," Ali looked at her.

"What?" Nonnie was like a doe waiting to be run over, perhaps.

Ali only smiled more. Of course, she was being all blond and perky. "What other tricks you got?"

"Um," Nonnie shook her head, no. She pressed her lips tight. For a moment she bet Weezer didn't show up, but she could probably catch a ride with Diago and Ali. Of course, she imagined just staying here for the night, because really she didn't have a place to go. All her belonging were in her backpack. She'd been told to move since the rent was going up.

Just as the snow was starting to be at warp speed, Weezer pulled into the parking lot. She wished she knew what to tell him.

"You need to write a book or something," Ali slapped her on the back. "You could give me some insight on how to survive on a part-time job."

Nonnie kind of laughed, but her chest ached just a bit as if she might be having a little heart attack. Suddenly, she shivered as if she wasn't sure about anything. She smoothed down her hair and pressed her dry lips a little more.

"I really wished I had gotten you a Christmas present," Ali said as they were getting their coats together and waiting for that last second to happen before they closed. "But..but I just don't know what you like."

"That's OK, I didn't really do much for Christmas anyway." She hoped that didn't sound too sad or harsh. "I-I really didn't need anything."

She saw them off then. Finally, she locked up and got to Weezer who was waiting in the car. 

"Let's just go back to your place," she told him. "I mean, I hate for you to drive me out in this storm. I could just sleep on the couch."

"Sure." He was quiet as if he was afraid to say anything to her. It was then she felt so parched. Her throat felt as if it were cut in two. She couldn't say anything either. This was all she needed, to lose him as a friend. 

Thursday, January 26, 2023

Let there be a storm

 


The wind was kicking in, but it wasn't snowing like the weatherman said. OK, a chunk of ice might hit you in the head, but still nothing to get too dramatic about. Jade looked out the store window. She couldn't decide whether to call Ari or not. She didn't want to.

"Why don't you just call him?" Rox looked over her shoulder and saw that she was looking at Ari's number. "Then we can both go home."

No one was coming. The owner even said they could close. Mona was home with a sore throat. Hopefully, it wasn't more than that.

Jade kept a straight lip as if she'd have none of it. 

"You haven't called Pan?" Jade looked over her shoulder. Rox only gave her a sigh as if that would be a lost cause. 

"He's doing good enough to get home in that old rusted can of his," Rox practically rolled her eyes.

"We could call Uber," Jade smirked.

"That might take hours or they might not come at all in this storm," Rox hugged herself. Jade only nodded and then direct-dialed Ari as if she'd be an idiot if she didn't.

Of course, he was there in just a few minutes with a warm car and a bag of burgers and fries from MacDonald's.

"Oh, you shouldn't have," naturally Rox wavered toward the food as soon as she got in the backseat. She took the milkshake with gratitude. She said she loved a good vanilla milkshake and couldn't remember the last time she had one.

Jade, of course, said nothing and was indifferent as she could be. Although, the heat was nice, and damn if that smile of his was so inviting. But she wouldn't dare let him know.

"I hear Mona's sick," Ari said on the way. All Jade could do was shrug her shoulders in her puffer.

"I don't think it's COVID," Rox just said as she was already eating the BIG MAC. "Or Jade might be sick too."

Jade didn't let on she was sleeping most nights at Ari's now. She just didn't want to admit it and at least Rox hadn't brought it up. 

"So how are those kittens?" Ari wanted to know as they were almost to the complex.

"Oh, they are growing like little monsters," Rox said their claws were so sharp. "But I might give one away."

"Really?" Ari sounded so encouraging.

"Yeah, I know Nonnie wants one, it's just she won't let herself ever be happy. I don't understand her at all." Rox told him.

Jade practically frowned. Somehow she could relate to Nonnie even if she didn't know her problems.

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

If it comes, let it. If it goes, let it.

 


"Well, you know her best," Weezer said through tears. He didn't want Tristan to see him crying, but he was the only one he could turn to.

Tristan poured him a glass of milk and got out the last of the special Oreos somebody had given him as a gift at work, but he didn't like white-covered Oreos. 

"I don't want to say," he shook his head as if it were confidential. It was just the two of them in the kitchen. Nic was already asleep. It was just a little after midnight.

"Can't you tell me something," Weezer felt numb as he grabbed a cookie and stuffed it in his mouth as if he might be a trained dog who couldn't help to love sweets. Still, it tasted like nothing. He could only think of Nonnie.

"Look, I haven't ever seen her this happy until now," Tristan told him. "You just need to be there for her."

Only the tears were slipping and his nose was dripping. Weezer really didn't know what to do as he plopped himself there at the dining table.

"I will say, she has not had it the easiest," Tristan nodded. "She has her issues, but I know deep down she's a good person."

Weezer could hardly see for the tears. What was she doing to him? He pushed back a tear with the back of his knuckle and went for another Oreo.

"I don't really know how severe her past was. But I know she's mad at herself. Probably madder than she should be." Tristan cleared his throat as Weezer reached for the glass of milk. 

"Why, why can't she tell me, you know?" Weezer finally managed, but he still coughed up the Oreo anyway. 

"Give it time," Tristan told him. "Just keep doing what you're doing. You do make her happy."

"I'm not so sure about that," Weezer shook his head.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Tristan told him. He grabbed a cookie then as if he needed to at least have one. He made a face of disgust when he bit into it and then tossed it in the kitchen garbage.

Sunday, January 22, 2023

Become a simple fact

 


Nonnie looked over the kittens in the box at Roxanne's. They'd grown so much since she'd last seen them. She picked up the orange one and held it. It was so sweet and innocent.

"Do you think you'd want one," Roxanne asked. 

"I'd like to, but you know, it's kind of cramped where I live," she shrugged as she looked around at Rox's place. She noticed the whiskey on the kitchen counter. It was Maker's Mark.

"Oh, that's Pan's," Rox said about the liquor. "He has to have a couple of drinks every night." She explained he only put a little in his diet Coke. 

Nonnie didn't say anything, but of course she gave Weezer and earful when she got to his place.

"What if he's an alcoholic?" She blurted.

"Let's try not to think the worst," Weezer told her. "Maybe it was a Christmas gift."

"But..but he's so stingy. Making her order off the kid's menu and he orders a three-patty burger," Nonnie swelled a frown as she hugged herself. She reminded him about the night they all went out before New Year's.

"I'm sure she knows him better than either of us," Weezer said.

Nonnie shook her head. "She's so pretty, why is she with someone like him?"

Weezer only shrugged and went to put a game on the TV in his room. He plopped down on the bed as they got ready to play Fortnite. 

"He must be good in bed," she said after they'd played a round of the game. This cracked Weezer up.

"How would you know about stuff like that?"

Naturally, she was close-lipped after that.

"Is there something you want to tell me," He put the game on pause and looked over at her? She winced hard.

"I know what this is really about," Weezer looked at her. "You just don't think I would be good in bed." He smirked.

She only sighed. "I'm not ready to talk about this kind of stuff with you." Tears dripped down her face. "I'm sure you'll be perfect for someone, but that someone is not me."

Friday, January 20, 2023

Finally laughing after trying to hold it in

 


This was strange. Tristan guessed it was OK to pick up the pickup. After all, he'd called about it, but when he got to his parents there was company. They were eating dinner. He felt as if he was imposing. For a moment it was was like they had another son. A son that he didn't know about. Their laughter was haunting and really he wished he hadn't came after all.

But it was Holden.

"Come on, sit down, eat something," his father got up and practically coaxed him into to a chair across from Holden. Tristan didn't know what to say, but he was handed a plate of tacos with his mom's famous hot salsa.

He cleared his throat.

"Don't tell me you have forgotten completely about your old friend," his dad laughed.

Tristan nodded. He didn't know what he was talking about. Holden laughed at him.

"Look, man, I haven't forgotten you, but you know, it's been a long time too. I wouldn't know you, you know," he smiled at Tristan who only cleared his throat and managed a smile back.

Still, Magz came to mind. He only thought of Holden as Magz's almost ex. Except he wasn't.

"So-" he started to ask about her, but Holden cut him off.

"I hear you work at the zoo, how crazy is that? I mean, I seriously envy you, dude," He drank at the beer and finished another taco.

Beer was offered to Tristan but he only wanted water. He said it had been a long time since he'd had his mom's salsa. He'd need a lot of water. 

"You were raised on this stuff, man," Holden's smile was open.

Tristan did his best to play along, but he didn't know if he could do this. Be somebody's best friend he hadn't seen in a good decade or so.

"Man, we gotta get together now, you know," Holden told me. 

"Absolutely," Tristan found himself lying. No way did he want to be friends with Magz's boyfriend, but it looked as if he'd found his old new best friend, again.