Oh, life, it's bigger

 Justin was at his wits' end. Damn, if Jared and his girlfriend didn't bring Carmen a rescue. And here he'd planned on having a big garden this year. Of course, the snow came suddenly, and it was back to winter.

He was doing his best not to be riled up. And the French bulldog was pretty dolce. Francine liked Justin more than Carmen, which he didn't see coming. All he had to do was sit on the couch, and that dog was instantly in his lap.

"Why did this happen?" Carmen was moody about it. He didn't know why. Well, maybe, but he wouldn't say.

For all he knew, she was pregnant. A nightmare spun in his head every night. He didn't know how he'd handle it. Jared was no help. All he could tell him was that he was certain Justin needed a therapist.

"That's just going to cost money!" He'd snapped, and the only one who seemed to be on his side lately was Francine. Maybe he was growing into an old fart. He didn't know why he was in this funk.

 He thought about how he'd loved traveling instead of going to school. He'd thought back then he'd find his path, but now that seemed like a fog too. He hadn't really learned a thing. No, it was back to college classes, this time finding a job that needed to be filled. And there was Ari as sort of a life coach, but he didn't have an answer for everything.

And now he was still some kind of mentor to Randy, whom he felt he'd left behind. He didn't mean to. "You know, you can do this." 

Justin listened to Randy about the stories and getting his ideas published. "Maybe you'll be famous here, one day. You never know."

But he knew it frustrated Randy even more. Justin did his best to cheer him on, "You know you find joy in plots and subplots. You know things about dramas that I don't even get. And how is it that way?" 

Yes, he envied his muse. And to think Randy was the real writer all along. It just felt unreal to Justin, who found it so draining. The stress just multiplied, but Randy took it in stride. 

Randy did talk about Monica. "I don't know what I'm going to do with her. I want her to figure some stuff out on her own, and she looks at me like I'm speaking in a foreign language."

"Well, we're all a bit immature," Justin shrugged. "But, just be happy you have her in your life. She thinks the best of you. You keep that up, OK?" He wished he could say the same thing to himself about Carmen.

He did love her. If only he could be more like her. But there was so much stress. Bills to pay on time. Obligations with family. There was even the worry of having to do more with Jared. 

They never hung out growing up. Usually, it was just for the holidays. They didn't even know each other's birthdays. Carmen found it all so puzzling. "How could you have a mother like that?"

And all he could do was yelp back, "I don't know."

Justin reminded himself he was doing the best he could, and maybe it was that way for his mom, too. He didn't think his dad would have been that upset if his older halfbrother had moved in with them when they were growing up, but then again, he never asked. He didn't think he was supposed to.

It made his head spin thinking about these things. And calling her up to talk about it left him full of dread. Couldn't they leave this history behind and just go on?

Of course, it was time to meet up at the dog park with Jared and ..Justin winced, he couldn't even remember Jared's girlfriend's name.

The distance in your eyes

  "So is she moving in?" Randy finally got a chance to corner Tristan about the Olivia matter. She was always here. And then she wasn't. 

They worked together now, and Tristan was always with Olivia, who seemed fine with her hands. Although he'd heard her mention from time to time that she might have to go back to Orthopedics for her finger that hurt when she bent it. 

"No," Tristan pouted. Randy was certain now that Tristan wanted Olivia here.

"Maybe, you should move in with her?" Randy shrugged, thinking he was always alone these days with Monica, who always needed his help for something.

"I can't. I wouldn't." Tristan shook his head, no, as if that would be unheard of. 

"Are you sure you want to be here?" Randy felt himself fighting back the urge to argue with his roommate.

"Yes, of course." Tristan stared at him as if he were the one in charge, not him.

"But..." Randy didn't know where to start. Maybe it was him. Maybe he should move out. If only he had his own little place, a studio in the basement of the apartment building where the cheaper spaces were. He needed a place to think alone. He was busy with classes and always trying to work on a storyline or two for a webtoon published in another country that might end up in a drama.  Of course, Cassie's mother said she'd help him get his own place, but he couldn't take her for granted. Besides, she was back home in Zhejiang, and she was never forthcoming about Cassie.

He didn't like talking about what he was doing for extra money these days. Of course, this was supposed to be Justin's gateway to making some extra money for savings. Now it was Randy who was putting it in his own savings. Justin said he'd done far more than enough, and if he was going to keep this side gig, he better keep the money in his own savings.

It wasn't that he'd had a falling out with his so-called guardian. It was just that they were growing farther apart. Randy didn't know what to do about that other than just to accept it. 

Still, he knew this wasn't the time to just up and leave. He had to be thankful to have a place to stay. It was home, even if he was growing restless and wondered how much more it could change.

"Olivia's getting a place in the building," Tristan told him. "She'll be close by, so we can go to work together. It's just she needs her own place."

Randy nodded, wishing he could do that. He didn't want to upset anyone. But sometimes, he wished he could be more compatible. It was a busy world, and he had to be ready for it. Maybe he was going to have to figure this out with Monica.

Still, he felt like he was the only grown-up around here. How could that be?

One half won't do

 

Rennie knew it would be just like last time when she and Jun visited his grandmother. But she took it in stride as her stomach burgeoned her baby bump. Still, she felt hurt by the doubt the old woman would see when the baby did get here.

It was months away, but time was being good for Rennie. She wasn't sure where the luck came from, but the people she worked with at the modeling agency found more opportunities for her. Evidently, maternity wear was hot these days. Rennie didn't really know, but she went with it because she knew she would need to nest the future. 

Of course, she was an outsider to Jun's family. She still hadn't met his parents. Rennie did her best not to think about it. Naturally, her own mother was worried about her. She told her to come home.

"What if he never marries you?"

Rennie didn't have a good answer for her. Still, it was her and Jun's life. Nobody else's. Just like for the camera, she kept smiling. They were there for each other. Jun wasn't standing in the corner, depressed these days.

Funny, nobody in his family had ever noticed. Couldn't they be happy that he was productive these days, he wasn't on a part-time paycheck, either. And he was finding joy these days. She was afraid he wouldn't know what that was, until now.

love with all your heart ❤️

 "Are you still with Louie?" Jun's grandmother asked every time Sunny dropped in with a bag of goodies at the assisted living facility.

"Yes, I'm still with him," she showed her proof, the two together out at the park.

"He's got a haircut. He's looking presentable," she informed Sunny. "But I still wish you were going to have Jun's baby." No way would she mention that girl's name, he was with.

"We wish for a lot of things, but it doesn't mean it will  happen."

"Tell me about it," She hugged herself, looking all grim. She wished to go somewhere. "I need a haircut."

"But we have a salon here."

"She doesn't know how to cut my hair." The old woman fretted, then looked up at Sunny and asked if she was trying to be a boy.

Sunny chuckled. It felt like the same conversation. 

"I wonder how you were when you first met Jun's grandfather?" Sunny smiled, thinking those must have been the days.

"We didn't have much money, you know, but it didn't keep me from having a baby like these days." She scoffed at the thought that people were just too careful these days. They were completely selfish. 

"Well, we have Daisy," Sunny nodded as if she loved being her Auntie.

"You two should adopt her."

"But she has two dads who love her very much," Sunny promised. After all, they were getting together to have a Valentine's Day meal tonight, and Jun with his pregnant girlfriend would join them. 

The old woman scowled as if she might be sick.

"What if we all come see you tomorrow. I'll make sure Daisy comes," Sunny got out the chocolates then and of course, someone took to them as if her diet wasn't much better than Daisy's. 

"That would be nice."

"You'll be nice?" Sunny wanted to know. She nodded as she bit into the sweetness. Sunny had her doubts, but she knew Jun would make her day.

Everytime you walk in the room

 "Is he prettier than me?" Chewy put Chai in a tight spot in the kitchen. He could hardly get to the stove where the burgers were sizzling.

Chai winced. He didn't know what Chewy wanted him to say. Besides Daisy was looking at them as if she were the grown-up.

Chai sighed and edged past him to check on the pasta. They didn't really eat burgers. It was more like hamburger steak and noodles because that was the way Daisy would only eat it and her broccoli.

Really, Chai wished Chewy could stay focused. "He's only my supervisor." Chai looked back at Chewy as if he needed to be quiet. At least for Daisy's sake. "You're making a big deal out of nothing."

"But he saw you at the grocery store," Chewy remembered. "He was quite chatty, you know?"

"He was being nice," Chai shrugged as he went to dump the water off the noodles and then prep them with butter and a creamy cheese. It was a soup mix that finally looked edible, but this was the way Daisy liked it. 

"Oh, he was flirting," Chewy snapped, giving Chai the eye.

"He knew I was with you. I think it was Daisy he wanted to meet," Chai didn't want to admit it, but Daisy was a topic that came up every day. Chai was always telling his team at work about a Daisy moment. How she wouldn't go to bed, how she cleaned the toilet with her hairbrush, and how she didn't like wearing the same color socks.

"So?" Chewy raised his head as if he would not be defeated, but Chai gave him plates to set the table.

"So what?"

"So, you told him about me?"

 "I did." Chai nodded. He didn't want to say how little he said because he knew Chewy would fuss about that, too.

Chewy went on to get the forks and chopsticks. Finally, Chai served the meat and noodles peppered with steamed broccoli. Daisy called this gatti night, a new tradition.

Yes, there were a lot of traditions now that Chai didn't think everyone needed to know about, like a winter night that was more than cozy with Chewy. Chai found it something he yearned for, although he was certain Chewy found it more quaint. But it was an ember of romance, and Chai didn't want to mess that up with Chewy.

"He looks like an uncle, to me," Daisy looked at Chewy while Chai was cutting the burger steak.

"What?"

"Yeah, that man looks just like you."

"He did not?" Chai found himself saying.

"Is he prettier than me?" Chewy smirked

"You're not pretty,"  Daisy informed him. "I don't want you to be pretty."

"See?" Chai looked at Chewy out of the corner of his eye. Chewy did his silly pout as he took a bite of broccoli.

I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you

 "It was upsetting to see Jared that way," Mel said. She didn't want to tell Nori to doubt him, but it was all so troubling.

They were out walking their pups to the dog park. Some things had not changed, even if she was having to think about selling her house. Really, she didn't want to, but she was Kevin's wife now.

Their fur babies urged them on with a sniff here and there. They were the perfect pals.

"He is trying," Nori said. She laid it out for him. "I told him if my mother suspected him of being the worst, then we could just say goodbye to the future."

"Oh, so you're using your mom that way, are you?" Mel gave her the eye that, that wasn't fair to her mother.

"You know, how she is." Nori looked as if she could handle this.

"I think you are becoming your mother," Mel smirked.

"I have to be, because, well, Jared's like my first child. I can't just give up on him."

Nori's brow furrowed with seriousness as they walked toward the dog park. They bundled up in scarves and jackets, but Mel knew Nori felt as overdressed as she did.

They let the dogs go into the dog park. They already knew everyone there, so there was no trouble as they played together. Of course, they watched the pups carefully, out of habit, as they leaned against the fence.

"I've been thinking," Mel started.

"Have you?" Nori chuckled.

"Would you like to be my neighbor?"

Nori laughed. Her grin was wide as if that were the wildest idea she'd ever heard.

"I know I could sell the house, but... but what if I rented it out to you. I'd give you a good rate."

"I don't know." Nori looked up to the cloudy sky as if asking for help. "We might end up hating each other. I mean, we live close, already."

"But what  if you wanted to start a family?" Mel said her place was bigger. After all, Nori was in a duplex and was always grumbling about new neighbors.

Nori sighed as her gloved hands must have been knuckle white, gripping the fence. "Are you?"

"We'll see. We talked about it. I'm not going in on treatments or anything. If it happens, then, yeah." Mel nodded.

Nori pressed her lips tight. "We are in no hurry, you know."

"I know, but please rent my house. I don't want strangers living in it." Mel looked at her as if it were a deal Nori and Jared couldn't pass up.

You either go for the Life you want or settle for the Life you get

 

"We are worried about you." Kevin made it simple. He took Jared to lunch in the middle of the week. It was the best day to be out in the chilly winter wind. They headed to their favorite cafe, which served heaping portions of its lunch specials. They ordered open roast beef sandwiches smothered in brown gravy with a side of green beans and mashed potatoes.

"What do you mean?" Jared acted like he didn't remember a thing about the dinner party Nori had for them.

"You know, we're friends, you can talk about this to me." Kevin wanted to talk to Jared sooner, but there was work and, of course, getting a new home situated with his new wife, Mel. They were still trying to figure that out.

"There's nothing to talk about," Jared shrugged. Kevin nodded, and they ate the meal until they were stuffed. 

"You've got to let it go with Justin." Kevin finally said as he nursed on a hot cup of coffee.

"I know." Jared sounded as if he'd figured it out on his own.

"You've got Nori now, and Justin has Carmen. Don't make it a competition. Just go your own way."

"I will. I've stopped drinking. And I'm going to an online therapy group chat." He said he didn't really like it. He felt it was just a way your insurance could get you money. "I was at my lowest, and I didn't mean to. I mean - I don't want Nori to have to deal with someone like that. She's lovely. And I know I haven't always made the best choices."

"Well, you know I'm here if you need to talk," Kevin smiled back, happy that Jared was moving forward. 

"You might be the best guy friend I ever had," Jared smirked. 

"Who would have thunk it?" Kevin laughed. 

"Yeah, I'm still shocked you and Mel got married," Jared told him. He thought Kevin would always be single. "You know, like me."

"Well, I think Nori is good for you, you might be husband material after all." Kevin nodded. It was good seeing Jared adulting.