It's gonna be fine

 Lewis went for the Assistant job at Circulation in the library. He still dreamt his old boss wanted him back, but that didn't happen either.

Moving in with Monica did happen. There was a fuss about it. Randy said, NO WAY Lewis is living free at the apartment. Yeah, that might have been why he moved in with Monica. He didn't think so. He cringed at the thought.

But she stood her ground. "Just give him three months, will you?" She reminded Randy that Lewis was with her now. He wasn't in a roommate room. "It'll be fine."

Randy was bitter about having Lewis here.

"Yeah, the next thing we know, you'll be pregnant." He scowled back.

Monica was in a huff. Lewis thought he might faint at the thought. After all, this was her room. He didn't think it could be their room. All he had brought with him was his minimalist closet of work clothes and his laptop. And of course, the TV. They really needed their own TV. 

"Uh, well, are you on anything?" Lewis finally got up the nerve to ask after Monica settled down. She couldn't imagine Randy ever saying anything like that to her; she was so angry with him. Lewis thought he might be the third wheel, but then again, maybe they did have a brother-sister relationship like she said.

"On anything? What are you talking about?" She looked back at him after crying into her bedroom pillow while he sat at the edge of her memory foam bed.

"Nothing." They weren't exactly doing anything other than making out on occasion.

"No, what do you mean?" She squinted.

"You know." He looked at her blankly. He didn't want to spell it out to her. Besides, with all his antidepressants, he wasn't as frisky as he used to be. But then again, Lori (his ex, who sometimes liked to change her name. They was one of her pronouns) was one who led the way, and he pretty much played the relationship game the way she wanted. 

It was a fresh start with Monica, and it was good to be two turtles in their shells. He wasn't in any hurry. Besides, he had a new job. Lewis wanted to keep his mind on that. Everything else would fall into place. Live and learn was his motto.

Lori was a crazy Goth Girl. She could be so passionate, but then she broke things too. She did like to hit him for the most unlikely things. In the end, he knew he was better off without her. She was with her family in Florida now. He'd heard she met someone in the Air Force and was moving to Japan.

"We'll be fine." He held her hand. She smiled back as if he was the best. This was what they needed, a little place to call their own. At least temporarily.

You think you're clever

Nori knew Mel wouldn't be much help to talk to about Jared. She wasn't going to listen to her mother. After all, she'd tell her she was asking for this.

It was just her. She was the one who was going to have to deal with the fallout. Besides, there were so many things she adored about him. Honestly, things were great in the bedroom. It was that day-in, day-out stuff to worry about.

Honestly, he was the worst child. Yes, he was her MAN CHILD. Why would she ever want children? Dealing with his ups and downs. 

She knew this going cold turkey on alcohol was taking a toll on him. He was a nervous wreck. 

"Maybe you need to be hypnotized." She mentioned this while they were cleaning the kitchen together. She knew he was doing his best to keep doing things that might take his mind off alcohol. She'd never seen him this busy before, organizing everything and then tearing the place apart just to find something like a wallet, which was where he always put it, next to the old gaming PC in the den. 

"What? I'd never!" He looked shocked that she'd say such a thing. 

"I know I have cravings too," she told him, knowing he couldn't handle going without a beer or a bottle of wine at night. "I  know you think I'm a nag, but... but I'm worried. What if you end up having alcohol poisoning one day and before you know it, the doctors don't care if your heart even beats because... because you didn't care." It had happened to an uncle of hers.

Jared hugged himself. He was jittery as his fingers held on to the corner of his black rimmed glasses. He mumbled something as if that would never ever happen.

"I know, " She shot him a look. "You might get killed drunk driving before then."

He scowled and looked away.

"I...I like to eat," she sighed. "If you haven't noticed."

"You... you wear your weight well." He smiled weakly, but then she saw that naughty wolf look in his eyes, as if they could try new places to have sex, like the kitchen counter.

"Damn it, Jared. You know..." She didn't know what to say before he embraced her. "You are impossible."

 

You can't have one without the other

 Deano hoped his cousin Lewis didn't think he was pathetic. Of course, he and his girl were over for dinner. The kids could entertain them while he finished up a quick stir-fry. Caitlin was off in her office Googling something. Maybe if it were her family, she would have made an effort, but Deano had his doubts.

Deano was now working in finance at City, and it felt good to have permanent employment. Still, with everything expensive these days, it made him a little nervous. Yet, he knew not to overthink it. He took his antidepressant and went on with things. If only Caitlin would think about her mental health, she might be happy too.

They all sat down for a quiet dinner. Deano was glad he and Lewis were now in touch. It wasn't until after dinner, when Lewis was helping to clean up, that he learned Lewis' boss wouldn't be retiring.

"I knew it wouldn't happen." Lewis wasn't sure what to do. "There's an opening for full-time at circ. It's just an assistant's job. The pay's not great, but I'd get insurance."

"That's too bad about not getting the job you want," Deano said, saying he'd been in similar situations over the years. "It'll work out."

"Maybe," Lewis sighed as he rinsed another dish to put in the drainer. "I mean, I'm happy about a lot of things right now, and I guess I need to be patient, but I feel like it just drains me." He looked sad for a moment but then smiled. "Monica is so upbeat. She's so positive. I need that, right now."

"Oh, really," Deano. "So you two are tight?"

"Um," Lewis looked at him strangely, as if he was uncomfortable talking about this, but he washed another plate.

"You think you two will move in together?"

"Well, possibly." 

"Wouldn't you be saving money if you did?" Deano nudged him with his elbow.

"Yeah, we..we talk about it." Lewis nodded. "But she has a roommate."

"Well?"

"Well, I like living by myself." Lewis finally admitted. "It's just -"

"Would you want her to move in with you?" Deano looked at him, thinking Lewis was acting like an old man.

"I couldn't ask her to do that," Lewis told him. His place was big enough for her stuff. He wiped down the counter and let out the drain. Yeah, Deano knew Lewis would take the plunge. Lewis was just as much of a people-pleaser as he was.

The object of your affection

 "I don't think they'll make it til Christmas." Jared thought Randy should know. Justin and Carmen's marriage was in jeopardy.

 However, he must have interrupted something, because Randy still wanted to keep the headgear near him (hanging around his neck) so he could play the computer game in his room.

"Why is it so important?" Randy practically grimaced. They were alone. Monica was out with her boyfriend.

"Aren't you going to offer me anything?" Jared needed a drink of something. Although juice wasn't what he had in mind. 

"Why are you so cranky?" Randy went to the kitchen and brought back the juice, as if he would do as he was told, even if he was a bit fidgety. 

"Because my brother is stupid, that's why," Jared said. Justin was just creating problems with Carmen. "She works hard, you know." Jared nodded, wincing in thought as he took a sip of orange juice. "You know," he finally decided. "She's making more money than he is these days." He nodded as if he'd figured this out. "I bet that's what it is."

"So, she's always taken care of him," Randy knew this much. "He doesn't have to do anything, really."

"He doesn't know how good he has it, you know."  Jared landed on the couch then and put down the empty glass on the coffee table.

"I don't know what you want me to do about it?" Randy looked more flustered than Jared, as if he needed to be somewhere else, not here.

"What's going on with  you, man?" Jared looked him over as if maybe his timid ex-roommate was on something.

"Nothing." Randy pouted.

"Oh, it's Monica, isn't it?" Jared shrugged. "Why are you letting her go out with that little shrimp?"

Randy sighed. "I want her to be happy." He was blunt.

"Happy?" He looked at Randy as if he didn't know the meaning of that. Just then he got a text from Nori. He needed to stop by the grocery store for milk and eggs. Yes, she had him on a tight leash these days. He couldn't wander off too far without her knowing. He knew going to a bar was out of the question.

Play your games

 

"Well, at least he hasn't bitten you yet." That was all his brother Jared had to say about the fact that Carmen loved her dog much more than Justin.

"He has growled at me." Justin was bug-eyed about it. Of course, Carmen didn't believe him. She'd seen Blue hop up into his lap. The whole time, Justin knew the dog had good intentions of biting him in the crouch. 

Actually, if he didn't raise his voice at Carmen and kept calm, things were OK. But what if Blue did attack him? He shuddered at the consequences.

"She loves that dog more than me." Justin cracked, turning to his summer wine to soothe himself while Jared stuck with his lemon-lime soda.

"Have you ever thought maybe Carmen wants a baby?" Jared looked at him blankly.

"Is that all you can come up with?" Justin didn't think so. It was crazy to him how much time and effort Carmen put in each day to make that dog happy. "She'd be happy if she only had Blue to come home to. What am I doing wrong?"

"Don't ask me?" Now Jared was livid. "Ask her? Are you doing enough around here, or just sitting on your butt the moment you get home?"

"Well she-" Justin sighed, thinking maybe Jared was right. But he did help with the dishes and sometimes the trash. OK, so he'd never learned to wash clothes properly or recycle stuff exactly. She was always running around getting the chores done. He didn't want to ask?

He squinted at the matter. "No, no, the dog can't do any of that, you know?" He emphasized how she was around this vicious mut of hers. "She calls him sweetie."

"You mean, she doesn't have any pet names for you?"

"Just pet peeves." Justin nursed his bottom lip.

"You have to love her." Jared gave Justin the eye. "You have to love that dog too."

Justin nodded. Yes, Blue was her baby. He even shared their bed. Of course, he did sleep at the bottom of the bed, but still, he slept on Justin's feet.

"If only we'd gotten a cat." Honestly, Justin could only take so much of the Frenchie (as he called the French Bulldog that Jared and his girlfriend rescued for them). Justin was certain now that he needed an orange tabby. 

Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don’t fit into boxes.

It was a surprise to see Deano. Actually, Lewis didn't know his cousin knew where he even lived. It had been that long. Their mothers were identical twins. Somehow, they looked more like brothers than cousins. Still, Deano was the middle grandchild and Lewis would always be the baby.

That was back when Lewis' first visit to his grandparents was when he broke his grandfather's favorite lamp. Lewis didn't remember it because he was only two. To this day, he is known as the grandson who broke his grandfather's favorite lamp.

But as families get older and loved ones aren't around anymore, he'd distanced himself, and so had Deano. Actually, he just remembered playing Mario Brothers with Deano. Lewis knew he wasn't the family favorite, and well, it didn't really matter, anyway.

"Why didn't you tell me what was going on with you?" Deano said he'd heard from an Aunt about his troubles.

"It's not that bad," Lewis shrugged about the Halloween incident that was almost over. "I just have five more AA meetings to go to."

"But, you could have let me help?" Deano was concerned. 

Lewis went to get him a soda, and they sat in his little studio with the TV turned down low. 

"But you gotta family," Lewis remembered. "No twins, right?"

"Not yet."

Lewis sighed in relief. He often wondered if he'd have twins. It looked like that wouldn't be the case.

"I feel like I'm in the quiet divorce these days." 

Lewis never remembered Deano being this solemn. They both seemed to have the same kind of goofness about them that was noted by his grandmother that they should have been brothers.

"God, how did that happen?" Lewis squinted, as if he hoped it wasn't contagious.

"I dunno." Deano did look very sad. "I still love Caitlin. I love the kids. I love my family, but I don't think she's happy. She just...so aloof."

Lewis nodded. People were hard to figure out. He didn't have the best track record with relationships either. His first girlfriend was his best friend's girlfriend's best friend. Maybe it was like a college commune back then. They all roomed together in a two-bedroom place. It just happened. He just remembered his hair was longer then, and they all kept saying he was clogging the bathroom sink with his hair when, in fact, his girlfriend had the long black hair. Funny, how that was his memory of Greta. 

He sucked in a breath, thinking of her anger issues. In the end, he was glad she went back to her Dad's in Georgia.

"Maybe..it''ll work itself out," Lewis assured him he'd met someone he really loved. "Monica's been there for all those times I needed her, taking me to get my driver's license again, and again. Heck, she even let me drive her car to take the driver's test." He didn't pass it on his first try when he needed to reinstate his license. "Actually, I love doing nothing with her, but anything is fine. She's just beautiful and kind, and she's really good to me, and I want to be there for her too."

Lewis hoped this with Monica kept going. He loved how happy she was. He truly felt happy

"I can't seem to do anything right," Deano told him how he'd gotten tickets to the Tori Amos concert and how his wife never remembered liking the artist. "Needless to say, I was wasting her time."

"Sorry, I really am. I would have loved to have gone to that concert," Lewis said, wanting to finish the sentence. "With Monica."

 

Pour me another round

 

"Oh, you know you want it." Kevin was certain of it. Jared wanted fatherhood too. Actually, he wanted Jared to be in the same boat because he needed his best friend to be in this same predicament. He needed someone to join in this club. Well, it wasn't really a club, but they could do Daddy things together. Or at least get through this journey he was on.

"Want what?" Jared wouldn't even admit it with that silly grin of his.

The women were in the kitchen being very quiet as they were getting brunch together. Surely her best friend might want to be pregnant too. 

Jared sipped on a diet drink and talked about the weather, his job, and then about Kevin's job. He was his cheerful self. Kevin was beginning to be a bit angry with his best friend. Perhaps they did need some alcohol to have a soulful conversation. Yes, life had changed since Mel's pregnancy. And Kevin didn't know what to know anymore. It was so fragile. Mel was moody, which made him moody. Did he need to be in therapy too?

Jared plopped down on the couch as if he knew exactly what was on Kevin's mind. "Look, the last few months have been great, you two are doing just fine." Jared looked at him as if he knew. "It makes me think when I thought I was going to be a dad for the first time."

Kevin sighed and sat in his chair, which was actually Mel's chair now, who needed to be off her feet in the recliner when she came home from work. 

"You know, you're careful. You go out of the way to do things at home, like everything." Jared smiled, then laughed. "Yeah, you want to do everything right because you helped make this happen... and then when you find out you didn't. We'll still, you get attached and you think, it's about the baby, isn't it?"

Kevin didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hear how Jared had to live through something so tainted. That was not Kevin and Melissa. It was just something simple like having a baby. Not a lie. Not something horrible to live with. 

"I guess, you're right." Kevin nodded, feeling somber as he reached for a fresh drink of diet soda. He did his best to smile, knowing Jared knew more than he did, and yet he was content to be with Nori, after a past he left behind in England.