Leave this one alone

 "I hear your Dad is coming to town," Rico said first thing when he dropped in to see Gabe and Sammy. Of course, Mona wasn't with him, and that put Gabe in a bad mood.

"So, doesn't mean I have to see him, a lot like Mona never hanging out with your friends," Gabe knew he shouldn't have said it, but a lot made him bitter these days. Especially, when his uncle invited his dad to come down.

He hugged himself and turned away as if he'd serve dinner and Sammy could chat with Rico.

"Oh, he doesn't mean it," Sammie said about Gabe's remark to Rico who of course, snickered back. 

Gabe went to get the garlic toast out of the oven and dished out spaghetti and meatballs to Sammy who sat down to her salad but passed the fresh ranch dressing she'd made to Rico so he could be served first.

Gabe stayed quiet as the three of them started to eat ever so casually at the dining table.

"Did you make this, Sammy?" Rico asked.

"Oh, we both did," she said Gabe did all the chopping and even helped with the meatballs. 

"We'll have meatballs all week," Gabe smiled as if he hoped he didn't say another word about Mona, but couldn't help but ask. "What does Mona make for dinner?"

"Well, you know, she's busy. I mean she stayed late at work. Sometimes, it's just cereal."

Rico shrugged and twirled the spaghetti on a fork and stuffed it in his mouth.

"Cereal?" Gabe said with disgust. "Couldn't she at least make you a decent bowl of Ramen with some veg and a fried egg on top?"

"We might be lazy," Rico admitted. "I wish we had more meals together, but with jobs and all it doesn't happen often."

"Are you sure you two live together?"

"Enough," Sammy eyed Gabe as if he was going too far. "Sometimes, all we have is a peanut butter sandwich, and we survive, don't we?"

That shut Gabe up. He was going to clean his plate or else, and finish off the cottage cheese too.

"Sorry, I'm being an ass," Gabe said later while they cleaned up and Sammy took a call from her mother in the bedroom. "I just don't want to see my Dad. I can't stand the thought of it, you know."

"I get it," Rico told him of his troubles with his own mother. "All I ever was, was a paycheck to her, and now that I'm gone. Well, I can't go back either. There are just some things that stick in your mind while growing up. But you are going to be a dad now."

Rico dried the dishes. "You never mentioned how you felt about that?"

Gabe scrubbed on the pot they used for any dinner. He wanted it nice and clean for the next stir-fry or a stew.

"Oh, I guess it's setting in," Gabe said. "I mean, I never was expecting it, by any means..and then it did, and well.." Gabe winced. "Yeah, it makes me nervous. It makes me mad that I don't know how to be a good father. I want to be, but..but what if I am just like my Dad, after all?"

"That would never happen," Rico squinted.

"Hell, I'm already turning in to him."

Gabe cracked up. "I don't know how to play nice, you know. I just know I talk like him sometimes. I don't want to, and then before I can stop myself I'm saying things I shouldn't." 

He was quiet then as he rinsed the pot. "I'm so lucky to have found Sammy. I don't want to lose her. But..you know, the things I thought I would be doing with my mom, haven't happened. It's hard to meet the past again. I don't want that to happen to you. I don't want you having to do everything for Mona, either."

He pressed his lips tight and went to get them a light beer from the fridge. "Are you sure you're happy with Mona?"

"Yes, yes I am," he said to Gabe after he popped the top off the beer. "And I know you're happy with Sammy. Don't think about anybody but the two of you starting a family. It'll be fine."

Gabe wasn't so sure of that as he took a sip of beer.

"I find Mona rather fascinating," Rico smiled.

"Get out of here," Gabe almost spewed his beer on Rico.

"See, I don't have to worry about you taking Mona away from me." 

He laughed and Gabe laughed too.

More times than not, life's a whole lot

 

Cam looked at the gooey casserole when Carmen took off the foil. He couldn't help but stare. Oh, how this old body of his wanted it. She might as well be offering sex instead of King Ranch Chicken. Hell, he could eat that cold for breakfast. He sighed.

"I could make you casseroles every night," she said.

"Oh, that-that's not necessary." He shook his head no. He hated to tell her he couldn't eat like this anymore. He had to watch his blood pressure, his blood sugar and God knows what else.

"But..but I just want to help."

Carmen nursed her bottom lip as a strand of hair got caught in her eye. He was a little worried about her. He knew she wanted to send Trish to be with Liv in Seoul. And she thought she could cook and clean for him if he did this deed for her.

"Look, I want you to just focus on you and studying," he grasped her hand then at the kitchen table to take a seat. "I know you will get into the nursing program. I just know you will, and you shouldn't be worried about Trish so much."

Carmen sat down and sighed. "I just know it would mean the world to her."

"Oh, you mean the world to Trish," he told her. "It was you who got her out of feeling so sorry for herself when Liv left," Cam told her he'd think of a way to get Trish there to be with Liv when her baby was born.

"Your information helped a lot, it looks like such a good deal, and you know, she could spend most of May with Liv and her family."

Cam finally understood why Rico had liked Carmen so much. Cam wished he hadn't thought it so fleeting then, but he guessed Rico had moved on with Mona.

"Are you and Justin doing OK?" 

"I guess so," she nodded.

He went to get her some lemonade from the fridge.

"You guess so?"

"He's been busy lately." 

Carmen nodded.

"Busy?"

"He works from home," Carmen told him she still spent afternoons at the group home and she took Randy home from work.

"Randy?" Cam winced. He still didn't understand why they took in a twenty-year-old to raise.

"He's a good kid," she assured him. "He needs us as much as we need him."

She was proud that he'd found a job at Good Will.

"But..but will he still be with you guys when you want to start a family?" He looked at her blankly.

"But..but we're enough of a family," Carmen's smile was open.

Cam could see why Trish was worried about Carmen. Yet, Carmen was such a giving person and maybe, just like she said, that was enough.

He felt he and Kang weren't exactly partners, but he did like having him around even if they didn't get along all the time. It was the best he could do. And ever so often Cam had a date. Usually, it was with Pan's Mom, but it wasn't something he could mark on the calendar. 

"Look, between Kang and me, we'll get Trish there. Who knows, Kang might want to go with her, but if he is such a big friend of Liv's father, he'd send him there with his wife. So, don't you worry."

He cut a piece of the warm cheesy casserole for her to eat, and he took a little slice for himself.

Sometimes everything is wrong

 

"What's going on?"

OK, Cassie was aware that maybe Randy never spoke his mind. She waited all the time for him to tell her something about work, but he was so quiet. She wished he would tell her the truth. She thought the worst. There was a bully out there being the thorn in his side, every day.

Wait...now she imagined someone else. Some one wanted him. Someone wanted him badly. It made her so angry. If only she could be more passionate, and they could be like other people. But it wasn't that way.

She had a pretty good idea she would have her bout being back in the hospital with her breathing problems. Sometimes, the meds would send her into a deep sleep. It might even be a coma. 

Although, that had not happened in a long time. She felt she needed to get things done before it was too late. Still, she was thankful to have Randy in her life, even if it wasn't perfect.

"Nothing," he practically yelped as he paced about the livingroom at Cassie's. 

Cassie practically held her breath. She knew he was getting bored. How was she going to keep him with her?

"I don't believe you," she managed to hug herself in her wheel chair. Lately, it felt her tired little body wasn't moving, but she always did her best to look fashionable. Some how, even if it was a struggle to get into her tight clothes. Honestly, she'd rather be in baggy pants and a comfortable tee.

"It's true," he let a smile slip and he went to her squatting down next to her chair as he took her hand in his."

His dark eyes said she was the best thing of the day, and she smiled back.

"Don't lie to me, tell me what you are feeling."

She knew that look. It was odd like something strange had happened. Like someone had done something bad to him.

Randy got up and paced a little more and plopped down on the couch. He sighed.

"I think..I think I walked in on something with..with Justin and Carmen."

"What?" She looked at him surprised as she wheeled her chair over. Most days she stumbled around in her high-tech walker, but she had fallen so she promised she would stay in her wheelchair more, but really she needed to move more. Yet, she didn't want Randy to see her struggle. "Did he hurt her?"

"I don't think so," Randy shook his head, no.

Cassie frowned as if she hoped it wasn't awful.

"I think it was—" he started but stopped as he closed his eyes about the matter. His mouth drained into a fist as if he wasn't supposed to say anything.

Cassie sighed, wishing he would just tell her.

"Sex."

"Sex?" She squinted.

"Well, I hear him talking about it. Like he's asking me, but when I turn he looks at me like, 'I didn't say anything'. I don't know what he does in her room. But obviously, they both look so tired so..so I don't think they're sleeping."

"Huh?"

"I hear noises, you know," Randy was talking with his hands as if he was frustrated. "I asked him once if they did tricks in bed and he just laughed at me."

"Well.." Cassie didn't know how she could comfort him. "It is their room. I know he's been stressed out about writing that drama. Maybe, he feels my mom is changing it up, or something. I mean she's been writing them for a long time so she knows the formula."

"There's a formula?" Randy looked at her as if it might be a cure for something.

"Come here," she wanted to touch his face. Sometimes, his words could be priceless. She knew he promised to never kiss her, but that didn't mean she couldn't.

Don't be afraid to start over again

 Chai thought he could smell the richness of the coffee aroma, but as he lingered near the pour-over, he discovered a distaste that made his upper lip snarl. Was that what he thought it might be? His eyes bulged ever so slightly at the thought that Daisy was on rewind to all those bad things she used to do. She wasn't even wearing disposable diapers anymore. She was in big girl panties now.

"Are you all right?" He turned to her who was practically under him to step on, in the kitchen. He nervously went back to his coffee trying to decide when to start the epic journey to the bathroom with her, or just to sip on his coffee until he was awake. Really awake for the day. But she was watching him with big eyes and her tiny body wasn't budging.

Of course, Chewy wasn't here. He didn't say where he was going. Chai didn't ask. It felt they were more distant than ever, and Chai wasn't sure how he felt about that. A little sad maybe, but he didn't have time to think about it, as he put down his coffee on the kitchen counter and marched Daisy to the bathroom.

"You would do this to me," Chai fretted once they got to the toilet. He'd have to clean her up before she could even have a shower. "You wouldn't dare be this way with Chewy." He looked at her even lipped and of course, all she'd say was, "Poopie?"

He managed to get the brunt of the accident and tossed the undies in the trash. He started the warm water of the shower. She was sensitive to the correct temperature.

"What are you trying to say?" He pulled off her pajama top and coaxed her into the shower.

"I'm sorry Poppa," Daisy's fat lip persisted. He could tell she was more disappointed than he was about what had happened.

He assured her it was OK while he soaped up a washcloth for her to use on her own while he used another for her bum.

"You'll know better next time," Chai sighed with a smile. He went into a big spill how they were so happy she wasn't wearing disposable diapers anymore. She was saving them money. "And don't forget we are saving up to go to Disneyworld."

"You and Poopie," she smiled back as if she was happy about it.

"He doesn't like being Poopie," Chai found himself laughing as the shower was finishing up and he found the plush towel she loved to bundle up in.

"Poopie."

Chai shook his head, no. He told her he was Chewy, and Chewy did call her Princess Daisy.

"Poopie." She wiggled about laughing.

Chai sighed. "Let's not tell Chewy about this." Chai would do best to cover his tracks on this accident. Chai went on to say that he knew Chewy wanted to be a Dad. He told her he was glad he wanted to help. Although, he wasn't exactly the Dad type. She could just call him Uncle, but he knew Chewy would be angry about that too. 

Chai brushed his fingers through her messy wet hair as she stepped into her panties and lifted her arms for him to put the dresses on her.

 He wanted this to work with Chewy. Somehow. But Chai knew he wasn't exactly the type who thought he might ever have a significant other. He always imagined being alone. Of course, Daisy had changed that. 

While he was dressing her, he heard Chewy in the kitchen. "Look, can't you call him...Dadzo?"

"Dadzo?"

Daisy made a cartoon-like face of a chick or a duck. She tilted her head as if she might think about it.

"What are you two doing?" Chewy called to Chai in the bathroom.

He opened the bathroom door, and Daisy ran to Chewy, grabbing him practically at the knee of his jeans. "Dadzo!" She squealed.

Chai shrugged with a smile. 

A chance and a choice

 What had he walked in on? Randy blinked wanting to really look at what was happening, but he knew he shouldn't. Carmen did not look comfortable, but she was asleep. Hair fanning out as her arms cushioned her face at the coffee table.

Randy titled his head. She looked comfortable sitting there, but no, he couldn't think she would be comfortable. He pressed his lips slightly thinking if he walked swiftly, to his room down the hall, Justin wouldn't even notice.

"What have you been doing?" Justin's voice made him want to jump in his skin. He felt a shiver of regret.

"Nothing." 

Randy looked at Justin over his shoulder.

"Nothing?" Justin came closer and took a good look at Randy in the hallway.

"Well, you know, I've been at Cassie's." 

He shrugged. He always wanted to see her after his day at work. She always enjoyed telling her about her day. Of course, she kept wanting him to do a craft. Actually, he was the one doing the craft and she was telling him what to do. If only, he could get her to try, but she always said she would mess it up.

"And?" Justin looked at him angrily. Randy wasn't sure what he wanted to know. He raised his hands and moved his fingers.

"What have you been doing?" Justin checked out the dry paint on Randy's fingers.

"Oh, you know," Randy squinted as if he hated to tell him what Cassie had him doing. But she had big ideas, and this was her new idea. Repainting Barbie dolls.

Yes, she thought he was great at putting makeup on her. He'd brought her a few Barbie rescues from Good Will because he remembered how she loved her dolls. But somehow, she had lost them in the moves with her mother and had forgotten her love for them. And now this.

Now his hands were tired. Maybe she was telling him to do too much. He knew he needed to think on his own, but there was that girl who came in, in the late afternoon. He found out her name was Monica and she liked to find clothes. He guessed. He still wasn't sure why she found the need to talk to him so much. 

She would wait for him to get off work and offer him a Pepsi and of course, she talked about her dreams too while he waited for his ride home.

He didn't say much to her, and Monica didn't seem to mind, but he thought one day she'd get the picture that he was not typical. He would get on the bus from the group home who would drop him off at the apartment building.

Funny, he felt like he was in two different worlds. Monica's and Cassie's. As long as he didn't say anything everything was all right. He'd have to be this way with Justin too. It was best to just listen.

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one

 "Oh My God!" Carmen shouted from her laptop. She was full of excitement at the thought of doing something for her Foster Mom Trish, an airplane ticket to Seoul.

"What is it?" Justin came out into the livingroom where she was making her own office space on the coffee table.

"It's cheaper to Seoul than I thought," she beamed as if this was a fantastic idea. They could get Trish there for eight hundred dollars.

"Well, we don't even have that," he squinted.

"I know, but I could pitch in, if I ask Rico's dad, I'm sure he could help." She was so happy. She was ready to do a happy dance.

"If you say so," he didn't sound happy about the money situation.

"Her daughter's having a baby," Carmen looked at him hurt that he didn't find this to be precious timing. She'd looked up the flight. There was plenty of time. They could get her there the week the baby was due.

"She could stay the whole month or so," Carmen sighed.

"Oh, you would like that, then what about Kenny?" Justin was being a bit of a downer.

"What about him? He'll be fine. I'll help out. I will make sure to make them meals." She felt herself going on a guilt trip. "I need to do this for her."

"You do not." Justin squinted, practically in a stomp. He went off to the kitchen to put on the kettle for tea as if they needed to discuss this more.

The silence grew, but she kept looking at the cost, thinking how doable it would be. It would be such a great time for Trish and Liv.

A few minutes later Justin was bringing her tea.

"Don't you think this is something Tristan should do?" Justin set down in the floor next to her and looked over her shoulder at the air trip plan on the laptop.

"He's so busy," Carmen shrugged with a wince.

"You're busy too." He looked at her blankly. He rubbed her shoulders then and asked when was the last time she had actually rested.

"Why would I do that?" She looked at him with a laugh. Honestly, she felt she might drop into slumber if she let herself.

"I don't know how you do it," he told her she was never sick. "You are always on the go, doing something for somebody."

The more he rubbed her shoulders she felt so relaxed. Yes, he was putting her into a deep sleep.

Could see another kind of mind there

 "You're going to lose him," Sunny announced as soon as she saw Chewy sneaking out of his room to go back to Chai's. She was busy with the electric mixer making an ice box pie.

He looked at her funny as if she didn't know what she was talking about. She stopped the mixer and  looked at him as if he was the guilty one.

"Oh, its your MO, isn't it?" Her question was fierce and it made him stop and think.

"I know you're history," she snapped. 

He remained silence wondering what kind of history was she talking about?

She went on to put the creamy mixture into the gram cracker crust. It wasn't exactly a cheese cake, but it smelled citrus and refreshing.

Chewy hugged himself thinking he might have a chance to lick the spoon, but it seemed Sunny knew this.

"I don't know what you're getting at?" He pouted, as if she had no idea what he was putting up with these days. The couch could have used a memory foam mattress. And he smelled of soured milk.

"I figured as much," she smirked and poured the dish soap in the bowl and added water to let it soak in the sink. 

Chewy sighed. Oh, he really needed something sweet right now. He'd been on his best behavior far too long with Daisy. Not that it had done him much good. She was always naughty. It made him wince how the progress was so slow with her.

"Why are you mad at me," Chewy scowled. Of course, he went to the fridge to look for something good, but it was lean picking.

"You, are going the wrong way about all this," she glared at him with her hands on her hips.

"Oh really?" he tilted his head. He thought she was oblivious to this whole matter with Daisy.

"Just tell Chai you are in love with him," she sighed. "Those two are packaged deal. You have to respect him and how much he's been through with Daisy. Besides, she picks up on these things."

"Oh she does not," he snapped. and bit into a carrot stick. Why were they so healthy around here? He wanted to know. It was just the two of them now. He was at Chai's. Even if he was mostly on the couch waiting for Daisy to find him at night. "She's just a child."

"And that  little child knows Chai best."

Now Sunny was hugging herself. 

 "You gotta be honest with Chai, but you have to be honest with yourself, too. If you want a family with Chai you have to go the distance."

Sunny shrugged as if her work was done with him.

Chewy winced hard. He thought he was going the distance. He was there for both of them. Although, he was telling both of them what to do. He wasn't even making the meals. He hated when Sunny was right, but how did he change the course of things? He imagined being the voice of reason. But then it felt like a dead end. 

Yes, he was tired. Daisy was exhausting. Still, he knew where he wanted to be. It wasn't here.

He wanted the recipe for the pie. It was time he made one for Daisy and Chai.