Where do the days go

 Andi didn't mean to be a downer lately with Teegan. After all, they hadn't been together that long. A good portion of their relationship had started out with a text. It was true, keeping in touch with her did make her smile. Even now.

But things evolved and Thanksgiving had been sweet even if most of it was rather solo. Andi watched Teegan cook, for the most part. As it was, she still came over daily to cook for her. It was as if Teegan was worried about what Andi was really eating.

Naturally, Andi would only snicker about it, possibly a snort. Sometimes, she did wonder how Teegan could put up with her. After all, they were like vinegar and oil.

"You know, there would have been a time I would have obviously said no, to somebody like you," Andi told her while they were cleaning up after supper. After all, it was Teegan's doing making Andi's place place so Holly Jolly with a little Christmas tree and all those festive lights.

"What do you mean?" Teegan only smiled.

"I dunno, I know I play the tough guy," Andi shrugged. Naturally, Hannah came to mind (the one who got away), and now that Hannah was Dylan. It didn't seem possible. Andi wanted to hate Dylan more, but somehow she couldn't. "Or I used to be that way. You know, getting in fights..that kind of thing."

"You did not," Teegan laughed finding it hard to believe. She reminded her what a great nurse she was among other kind things.

"Oh yeah, I'm the worst," Andi smiled. "I know..I know Hannah always thought so." Andi went to dry a dish.

"Hannah?" Teegan wanted to know more, but Andi wasn't sure she should share.

"Oh, just somebody, I used to know." Andi put away the dishes and they went to sit on the couch to watch the Christmas tree. Naturally, Teegan tuned in the lo-fi Christmas tunes. "Hannah is Dylan now and I wish I didn't feel this way, but I hate it. I don't like it at all." Andi shook her head. "I mean, I couldn't do something like that. I love who I am...I guess." She winced then. "God, I feel old." She took Teegan's hand. "I'm not supposed to be this way. It's just I'm disappointed. You know, what might have been. I guess."

Andi went on to talk about another friend who was trans and how that person was still struggling. "I don't think he was ready for such a transition. He really can't take care of himself properly. It's a good thing he's got a friend that he lives with. His health isn't so good lately."

"Are they in love?"

"No." Andi look blankly at the Christmas tree that blinked back. "I mean, he just moved into her basement over a year ago and hasn't ever paid the rent. But they are co-workers and she always makes sure he has a way to work. God, she can't even drive a car..I mean..he can't." Andi rolled her eyes. "I'm not supposed to be this way. You know remembering who these people used to be. Not how they are now." Andi looked at Teegan and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "I don't mean to be ..I dunno..am I just getting old? I don't mean to be prejudiced."

Teegan only laughed at Andi and kissed her as if the best holiday present of all was being honest with each other.