Sunday, October 2, 2022

what have you done to yourself

 Alex had never felt quite this sick before. Honestly, it felt like a terrible time. Cold chills. Feverish. Maybe it was just the flu. His arms and his legs ached. It was amazing Alex got home at all.

Of course, it started out with a bang of sorts with Frieda. Yes, Alex would say it was the perfect answer to their problem. Being with Frieda.

She was the life of the party. Everyone loved her. Yes, Alex could be her. Alex was beginning to think. Frieda knew the right clothes. The right makeup. It was a crash course of who Alex needed to become.

"You shall be Ali," Frieda told Alex. "Don't look back. Dream it, and you can be it."

Although, there was another side of Frieda too. Alex found it all a bit old-fashioned. Frieda didn't believe in the updated procedures and nonsense of what was trending in a transcending world. 

"It'll mess you up," Frieda told Alex. "Do you want to castrate yourself?" Really, Alex never knew of these sort of things. Yes, Alex went to counseling from time to time but wasn't sure what sort of chances to take. Naturally, the counselor told Alex that support groups were a great help, but they never believed it. No, this was who Alex was searching for. Someone to teach Alex how to really walk. How to manage pantyhose along with shapewear. Honestly, Alex felt alive with the wigs, the makeup. Even the limelight.

However, Frieda didn't tell Alex that she was a drug dealer too. Still, there was so much Alex wanted to learn from Frieda. It was too late. Now Ali thought of Frieda screaming for her to go. "GET OUT! GET OUT! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

Yes, it felt like a dream now that turned into a nightmare. Really, Ali didn't know if Freida got away or not. Ali didn't look back.

Of course, her mother was happy to see her even if she didn't know what to make of her. Especially, since she wasn't going by Alex anymore. Just Ali. 

Thankfully, her mom was glad she was safe and didn't fuss or ask much of what had happened. It was going to be OK. Ali's life would be OK. It had to be. Freida wanted her to go on living.


  1. Ciao, mi è piaciuto leggere un'altra parte della storia. Buona giornata. Tiziana

  2. Sounds like Frieda really helped Ali but did she get busted for drugs? Yikes. I hope we find out more about Frieda's situation.

  3. Never good to try and be someone else. That always backfires. Be true to yourself, in the end it's a happier place to be. Cause you live with yourself 24 x 7.

  4. Alex -- or rather, Ali -- has been on a journey! Do they have COVID? Strangely, of the all the possible scenarios, I hadn't considered that one. Meeting Frieda seems to have been both a blessing and a curse (as so many things are). It's interesting that her views on transitioning differ from Ali's. That was a great point, that even within a community there can be opposing philosophies. I hope that Ali gets what they need and does what's right for them.

    This pink collage is beautiful! And not just because you included my florals and polka dots! I'm always here for year-round valentine vibes.💟

  5. I loved the chapter. Very interesting

  6. Cool post to read, you have a big imagination, wish you a happy October

  7. Alex seems very attracted to Freida's look.
    I hope that Ali can connect with her authentic self and build his confidence.

  8. Veamos que pasa con Ali te mando un beso.

  9. Super post. : D <3
    follow for follow? tell me the answer in my new post! <3

  10. Hi,
    Nice blog. I am new. Do you want to follow each other?

  11. Frieda parece tão legal, mas é traficante!! 😬
    PS:eu também tenho um blog onde escrevo, que tal me visitar lá também?
    Se chama "De Outro Mundo" o link está no perfil do blogger.

    1. Oh, but that's Ali. I know its confusing to probably read this in a different language.

  12. the flow of story is it

  13. Poor Alex. I feel a bit under the weather myself.


Hi, I love notes. Thanks for dropping by.