Oh, maybe I just wasn't good enough

 

Tristan came so close to spending the night with Magz. Yes, it was so close. But not that close, he had to remind himself. After all, her boyfriend Holden showed up. Yet there was that little open window that was quite inviting before he got there. Sure, she knew her way with a kiss and if he hadn't thought about it, well it could have ended so wrong. But in all, he felt lucky to get out of the situation when he did. 

One second was pretty much an invite for the night on her couch and the next... well, it was like they didn't know each other at all. And what made it worse as midnight closed in Holden might have been everything that Tristan's dad had always wanted him to be. Where Tristan lacked in credentials, Holden did not. He was after all a doctor. Well, animal doctor. Something Tristan was certain his dad should have been but never got the credits for it. Truth be told Tristan was a lot like his dad. He might have looked like college material, but he'd rather be working in the field than getting college credit.

But this Holden.. he was the real deal. Tristan didn't know how Magz met him. Although, they were like watching night and day. A part of him wanted to say Magz wasn't right for Holden, but it was best to let this one pass. Maybe that's why he showed up at Jade's like he did. Like one last chance.

Maybe she'd had second thoughts too and they could makeup and they could be, well..maybe the best for each other in 2023. Tristan had his mind made up. Yes, he was going let Jade know that he'd been thinking about the future and she was in it. And he'd made up his mind. Finally. Yes, it was all meant to be. Magz could have her Holden. Perhaps he could be even Holden's best friend.

The thoughts swam around in his head. Funny, New Year's eve felt like three nights in one as he thought about it. Although, he didn't know if he should tell Jade everything. But the more he thought about it, he was certain he could tell her everything. Yes, she wanted him to be honest. He had to be completely honest. And he would have been if she'd been there.

Instead, he got Liv, messy hair and all. 

Sure, he wanted to way lay into her and that boyfriend of hers. He knew exactly what was going on. But he just stared at her and kept mute. Still, he was sure he was like a volcano waiting to erupt. "I don't guess Jade is here," Tristan muttered. 

"She's at Arizona's." Liv looked him over as if he was too late.

Tristan nodded and backed away.

"Wait," she told him. But he wasn't sure he could, although he stopped. Not sure what to do. He really didn't want to go home either. He was certain Mona would be with Nic and Weezer was probably with Nonnie even if they were in his car just talking. 

Tristan sighed heavily.

"What happened?" Liv asked while he was still in the hallway. He shrugged and she told him to come in. Rico went to make coffee. Tristan did his best not to look at him because he really didn't want to think about what just happened here. Yet, time was marching on. His sister was growing up. She wasn't his little sister anymore. He couldn't think of her being ten forever. 

Tristan remained closed lip with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He sat in the middle of the couch.

"Magz has a boyfriend," Tristan finally admitted.

"Did you get in a fight?" Liv wanted to know.

"Do I look like I got in a fight?" He looked at her blankly. 

Liv didn't say anything she sat at the edge of the couch as if she didn't want to get too close. 

"She..well, I guess it was a misunderstanding. He was busy during the holidays." Tristan nodded. "He's a pretty good guy, he goes to different animal hospitals. He works on weekends at the emergency animal hospital." Tristan couldn't help but admire him. He knew if he'd stayed in school, he might be doing that too. Perhaps he could see a lot of himself in Holden. Maybe he liked Holden more than he did Magz. After all, she was just a girl who was in love with her makeup and fashion trends. She didn't even have a job. He winced then thinking he was the crummy one. So close to being that guy. He shook his head. Was that all he would ever be? The other guy.

"Oh, did you go to Mom and Dad's for Christmas?" Liv asked. She mentioned they'd come to Rico's. And they'd had a nice dinner. "Dad says he wants to give you the pickup truck."

"What?" Tristan couldn't quite look at her, but he squinted. "He didn't sell it?" He'd been told they sold it. They weren't going to keep it.

"His friend had it over the summer," she said. "He seems to think you might need it now with winter setting in. He even got new tires for it."

Tristan could hardly clear his throat. He was about to choke on tears. He could barely nod. About then Nico brought coffee and some leftover fudge.

"You could sleep on the couch if you want," Rico said.

Tristan shook his head, no. The coffee was hot. He barely knew what to do. He drank down the cup of black coffee and popped the fudge in his mouth to smooth it all down.

"I better go." He got up. "I was probably interrupting something." Tristan made his way to the door. He'd find his way home, but for a moment he still felt a bit lost. He wondered if he was really in his right mind, or maybe he was just a softie after all.