One, two, three, four

 

He didn't feel like a hero. No matter how many times Carmen said it. Justin wanted none of it.  It felt as if he hadn't even been there when all was coming undone with Rico deep in the flood waters, of an apartment, no less.

Sure, Justin could swim. He learned early when he was little. His mum said he was a water baby. Yeah, back when she was proud of him. He cringed now, listening to her over the phone, gushing about his last feat.

"Mum, I'm not a paramedic," he'd told her on the phone a day after it happened. He didn't want to say it was someone else who jumped into action when the water was high in the building. Of course, it was nowhere close to where he was staying, and yet he knew the studio like the back of his hand.

Now it was as if nothing had ever happened. There wasn't even the dank smell of what the water had left. He and Carmen were folding clothes in livingroom while some old western played on the TV that neither knew of.

"Why can't you, then?" His mother's words still worried him. It was as if he'd miss his calling if he didn't think about being one.

There were the sleepless nights, as of late. Someone was on his mind and it wasn't Carmen and not even Vada. He didn't dare imagine Rico's recovery.

No, someone, he wanted to know, but that person wasn't even real. And yet, he couldn't help but think of Randy when he thought of this individual. Except, he wasn't mad. He was a real hero.

He knew Carmen might find him a bit off if he mentioned it. Of course, he was with misfits everyday. Yet, he knew if he had to choose just one to stay with. It would be Randy.

The poor boy had lots of issues. After all, he'd never had it all that good. No one to claim him. And yet he existed. Terribly sedated. Otherwise, no one could stand to be around him.

Justin could relate. He could see himself in Randy's state. Randy didn't communicate well. There was a certain tick about him. The cramped corner of his lips. The stuttering and sometimes the laughter. He was like an old friend from Dumb and Dumber. Perhaps, that's what made Justin smile the most. Still, Randy was a mystery. It was as if he was in a disguise.

Justin knew it didn't matter. There was Rico, and Carmen wouldn't visit him if Justin didn't go.

"But should I?" Justin would rather stay home alone. "Vada's with him. Isn't that enough?"

He didn't like seeing his ex. Justin knew she was cruel. She might be lethal. He knew her true colors.

"Yes, you should." 

Carmen told him that she needed him. She confessed that she felt uncomfortable around Vada too. "But maybe she's the best thing for Rico."

"You believe that?" 

Justin was straight-lipped with his arms folded around him. He looked her in the eye. "I dunno why you aren't good enough for him."

"It doesn't matter." She looked as if she might be in tears. "He's better off without me."

"But he wasn't when he needed you the most that night."

Justin knew it was more than the sniffles with Carmen. He felt she would never forget him. Why couldn't he think that way about Vada?

"But, you were who he needed."

He tried to smile. It was very clear he knew who he wanted to be, but that was someone from another world. Yes, if Carmen knew, she'd believe he was a bit crazy.

"All right, I'll go with you," but he wasn't sure it was truly him who said it. It might have been the hero who saved Rico that night.