Falling in a grave that you made for me

 "I hate that you kept this from me for so long," Chewy still feels numb after finally getting it out of Sunny about Hart's situation. Sure, he has to feel bad for her, but what about him? He was after all the closest to the foreigner. Neither Louie nor Sunny were as intimate with him as Chewy.

Still, he doesn't want to give in and share this with Sunny. Oh, Hart was her first love which Chewy winces. It was all Sunny's fairytale, Chewy thinks. He guesses Hart's reality hit  her pretty hard, and yet she doesn't seem bruised.

"Well, what am I supposed to do you?" Sunny sounds as if Chewy would have just made fun of Hart, laughing it off with killer jokes, perhaps.

It makes Chewy feel uneasy, yet he parks himself on their sofa thinking this is his safe place. He's beginning to doubt his sense of good character. What if the next person he falls for is a serial killer?

Chewy cringes at the thought as he channel surfs, but it doesn't last long. Sunny takes the remote from him and shuts off the TV. They are alone. Louie is still at work.

"What was going on with you and Hart?" Sunny glares at him as if he needs to come clean.

"What do you mean?" Chewy is straight-lipped. He doesn't like getting the third degree.

"Don't give me another question," Sunny blurts as if he is just being coy. She wants the truth. He swallows back the fear. He wants to lie. He must. He just isn't ready for her to know. Hell, he might never be.

"We-" Chewy pauses. His frown is so small, but he can hardly hide what he feels. It does seem true about Hart. Why couldn't he have been honest? Why was it just a one-night stand one cold winter night? He knows it could have been more than a physical thing. He can't help to believe it should have been something else. He wants to cry now. It has to be him at fault, not Hart. And maybe he feels stuck now. Life is fleeting and yet Chewy isn't going anywhere very fast. He manages the coffee shop, and he watches everyone making a go of it, but him.

"You were more than friends with him," Sunny says as if she might read minds. Chewy wants to ask how she knows, but he won't. It's best to keep his cool if he can. 

"What did Louie tell you?" Chewy wants to know.

"Louie?" Sunny squints hard. She isn't that moody girl he hired and knew all these years from school. She's a happier Sunny now, but he can see he has troubled her. "Don't you bring Louie into this. He's been your best friend all this time, and what did you ever do for him?"

"Let's not talk about this," Chewy's face is soured by his life, being perhaps someone he never really was. He's not on his top game. This thing with Hart is like an open wound. And yes, he did love him. He wanted to love him, but there was his reputation of being a lady's man too. 

"You're the one with the problem," she tells him.

"I know," Chewy squints in anguish. "Can't you just stop?"

Sunny sits by him. "You are our friend. Louie thinks of you as a brother he never had. You've always been that guy who's helped me more than you'll ever know. We just want to be here for you. We want you to be who you really are. Just be you."

Chewy clears his throat. He tries to nod, but he doesn't know what she's expecting him to say.