No more thinking that somehow the sum will be different

 

Vada saw Kevin with someone new. She didn't want to say it bothered her, but it did. 

"Do you know about this?" She asked Sammie while they were out at lunch. Of course, she never spoke of who she was with these days. She was trying to be a better private person. But this with Kevin. Vada wanted to scream, "That's just insane!"

But she didn't. She played with her salad a bit more. She couldn't eat. Her fork clanked against the plate like a complaint. She had starved herself for him, and here he was dating an overweight woman.

"I-I really don't know anything," Sammie looked at her, startled as she took another bite of her chicken salad sandwich.

Vada couldn't help but fret. It wasn't like she was stalking him. God knows, he wasn't stalking her. No, those loving eyes of his had found someone new to adore, and it pained her just a little. She winced and her face tensed.

"You're not coming down with a migraine, are you?" Sammie asked out of concern.

"No." Vada snapped.

"What's going on with you?" Sammie squinted as if she wanted Vada to calm herself.

"I don't know," she sat back in the booth as if she had to let someone know what she was going through. Of course, she did have a theorpist, and she was even keeping things from her, too. She raked her fingers through her stringy hair.

"Yes, I'm in love," Vada said rather quickly. "But I hate it." She frowned with discontent.

Sammie sighed and put down her sandwich. "I don't think you know what the word Love means. You hate everything. Have you ever noticed the first word that ever pops out of your mouth is NO?"

"NO!" Vada's eyes lit as if Sammie couldn't be right. She took a sip of her iced tea, then, as if she'd make an effort to calm down, and the thought that maybe Sammie was on to something.

"I just think you are having fun, not thinking about the future with this someone. You just want sex."

Vada looked at Sammie as if she didn't think words like that could come out of her best friend's mouth.

"You aren't proud enough to show him off. You don't want your friends to know who you're seeing," Sammie went on to say with a shrug. "When is the last time you've had a real conversation with him?"

Vada kept her mouth closed. She couldn't think of a comeback. She didn't want to.