There's a fatal flaw in my heart's design

 

While Monica was explaining to Louis how Randy was misdiagnosed all these years while growing up in a group home, Louis realized her fondness for him. But then again, she pointed out how it had been a lost cause, thinking Randy was boyfriend material when he wasn't.

It was hard to focus on their simple Skip Bo game they had going at his place. It was not the time to go out in this heat of summer. After all, she had a car and took him to get to the morning test he had to go to since he'd totaled his car last October due to impaired driving and his license was on hold.

Louis scratched the back of his neck in thought as it occurred to him that maybe Monica didn't understand his situation either. He pushed his fingers through his messy hair as he tried to focus on his cards, but it was impossible. All he could do was gaze at Monica's sweet mouth. But he squinted; he didn't want to mislead her.

"This whole thing is going to be over soon," he said about his license. "I don't know why they want me to go to all these alcohol meetings..when  I wasn't drinking, you know." He told her he was on medication for his depression. He sighed, wishing he didn't have to tell her the truth. 

Sadness swept over him then. He tried to laugh. but the tears emerged instead as he sighed. "OK, so I  had some Hard Lemonade the night before it all happened. I fell asleep. I don't think I had that many. I just wanted to stop thinking about how bad my boss lady is." He couldn't look Monica in the eyes. "She's so passive-aggressive." He winced. It sounded like a lame excuse. "It's just she puts me down all the time." He still wasn't finished, how exhausted he'd been that morning on the way to work when he ran into a sign and landed his car in a grassy embankment.

He dropped his hand to his side, and Monica took it as if she were really listening.

"Honestly, I didn't think I was all that bad off. I don't mean to be, but it's just a struggle, you know." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye as he sucked in a breath.

"Maybe, you should just quit." Her blank look wasn't as helpful as he'd thought.

"No," he squinted. He wanted to pull away from her, but he couldn't do that either. "I'm so close to getting her job. She needs me, and she knows it. It's just...She's seventy-something years old and won't retire." He rattled on about how he'd get full insurance (because what he was paying now was lousy insurance) and a pension, but Monica put her index finger in the middle of his lips. Shocked. Louis didn't know what was next.

"Enough." Her eyes were wide open. "No matter what you tell me, I like you."

He nodded. Taking her finger, he wondered how awkward this really was. She was so close to him now, as her other arm was around him. Suddenly, he felt as if he might be the girl in this situation. "I..I like you too." He at least wanted her to know they were on the same page.

Her lips met his then. He kissed her back carefully, and she smiled as if this was their signal for a new chapter.