staying calm in the restless days

 

Hope felt downright numb or was that shattered. She thumbed through her handy pocket calendar to look at the dates. Naturally, the doctor gave her a hard time about not coming in for an appointment sooner. She listened. He told her the baby might come in late July or early August.

She'd given him a nod. It didn't seem feasible. But all was well and she was doing great and so was the baby, but she thought she might have already entered an alternative world. This was definitely unlike anything she ever imagined.

Also she felt as if she might have been rude to Frankie. She thought he would have sit with her through the entire appointment, but he upped and left only to return with caffeine-free tea. They'd set on what felt like a business deal. It was almost like a dream that left her dazed and confused. They were hiring her at the Yoga center.

Yet she felt lucky. So lucky now as she thought back, of walking out of her ex's life for good. Somehow, she wondered if she was, half-frozen somewhere in the woods and this was just a dream. She didn't know how she really got out of the past so easily. It felt so crazy at the time. She'd felt abandoned destined for a cruel death in nature. She couldn't give up now.

Now. Now she was full of worry. Just how would she get by in this pandemic, especially with a baby on the way. It was a girl. So easy for the nurses to tell. She felt she was a mother to a warrior already. How on earth could she guide her daughter into the unknown? She felt like a child herself at twenty-seven.

Why hadn't she known better? It was as if destiny had another path for her. Hope closed her eyes and prayed. Although she couldn't say it was anything really religious, still she prayed.

A knock came to her bedroom door. It was Megan with a warm cookie.

"It's oatmeal, it can't be all bad for you," she promised. Hope gave her nod and took a bite. Megan asked how the appointment went.

She said OK. There had been blood work and a sonogram. She told her the baby would be here in late July or August.

"I was thinking it might be sooner," Megan shrugged.

"God, I don't know what I'll do," Hope felt uneasy about summer. 

"We'll work it out." She asked about Frankie.

"Oh, it's good. He's good." She smiled, thankful for his help. It was good to find a friend like him.