making those backward steps

 "Who was that guy?" Dylan was a little too close for comfort, but then quarters were cramped behind the counter at the coffee shop. "Is he a wannabe rocker, or something?" Dylan's mask was off now and he may have sounded different from the treatments, but it was still her smile.

Caitlin felt a little faint. Suddenly, she was in a sweat. What could this possibly mean? Dylan made her nervous sometimes, and yet work wouldn't be the same without him. After all, he was sort of a work husband.

"Just a friend, a friend of my roommate's." She pulled away, thinking it would be a horrible idea..if..if perhaps Dylan wanted something in return, and it wasn't conversation. 

Caitlin winced at the thought.

"You have a new roommate?" Dylan winced as if she never told him anything.

"Yeah, I told you," she wanted to say he was not a good listener, "I..I thought I told you."

Caitlin could still see her old friend in Dylan. She was certain Dylan would always be the girl she remembered Hannah, not this disguise. But the hard truth was this was who he was now. She thought she'd accepted it. She wanted to believe she had, but it wasn't completely so.

"I wish I had friends like you do," Dylan said as they were about to get off their shift. Usually, he was never petty. He was a loner.

"Did you look into joining that support group I sent you a link to?" Caitlin wished he'd find someone to talk to about all his qualms of transitioning. But he hadn't.

Dylan shook his head no as if it would do no good.

"What's holding you back?" She asked.

"I'm..I'm not like them," he told her.

Caitlin nodded although, she didn't think that was true. She pressed an even smile.

"Let's hang out sometime," Dylan said as he was leaving.

Caitlin nodded, but she was already thinking of excuses to tell him. It was a matter of keeping her distance. She was afraid she was a terrible friend after all. She looked at her phone and text Melvin. She needed to know when he was coming over tonight.