I'm so glad we're back together and stuff

 "I wish we hadn't gone anywhere for Labor Day," Nonnie didn't mean to be so down. Honestly, if she could have slept through it, it would have been the best weekend. 

Sure, Weezer spent his days with Oriana. He'd become a stay-at-home dad, while Nonnie continued to work at the pharmaceutical company. After all, she was the one who got the loan for the house. At first, they were going to go the daycare route, but found it cheaper and healthier for him to stay home with the baby. 

Of course, she looked forward to seeing Oriana, and sometimes, she stayed up too late with her. Yes, she was still a mom. She was full of guilt, but she was doing her best to be the support her family needed.

She wanted to say she was happy about the situation. At first, she envied him, but she knew he was exhausted too. The struggle of young parenting was real, but maybe they were getting the hang of it. 

It was just, they never went out anymore. They stayed home. So, to travel all the way to Omaha to visit her dear friend Roxann and her family felt as if they might be making a trip to the other side of the state.  She stayed in the backseat with Ori, and Weezer drove. 

Yes, she was tired when they got there, and she wanted to say. "Let's never do this again."

But there were Rox and Elvis, so enthusiastic. They wanted to go to the zoo, the children's museum, and more. Then sleeping on air mattresses and staying up way past their bedtime in the living room of their apartment got pretty old, too. Nonnie did her best not to complain. But she missed her bed at home. Yes, maybe she was set in her ways. 

"Maybe we can do this at your house next time?" Rox practically invited herself. 

"Maybe." But Nonnie didn't think so. She had a schedule. Evidently, Rox had one, too, but Rox had free daycare from her mother, too. Funny, how she felt they had nothing in common anymore. Although Rox enjoyed her job at the University, even if it was in maintenance, she was a secretary. 

Nonnie listened to all her stories about the University. A part of her wished she could have settled for something like that. Although she would never mention her job or anything related to it. Rox might think she hated it. She just listened. She was sure Rox wasn't really interested in her world. Actually, Nonnie wanted to leave work where it was supposed to be.

Hopefully, it wouldn't always be this way, but at the moment, Nonnie felt her only friend was Weezer.

Hello can you hear me?

 "I don't  know, I just thought we would be closer, after having children."

Roxann fretted about their get-together with Nonnie and Weezer over the weekend. They'd actually invited them since Nonnie never got the hint to invite Rox and Elvis to their place. 

"It wasn't exactly a bust," Elvis told her they had a good time, even if it was rainy and they stayed in their apartment. "It was good visiting with Weezer."

"You  two played video games." Rox winced as if it were an awful weekend.

"We gave you plenty of time to talk, we took care of the kids, we weren't playing games the entire time."

Roxann wasn't listening. She was only thinking of her friend Nonnie as she was folding clothes while someone napped. At least Elvis was prepping the week's meals. They did run a tight ship. Although she didn't discuss it with Nonnie, who sat like a bump on a log all weekend. She said very little. 

Roxann felt she'd lost her all-time best friend.

"Maybe it's me," she said out loud. Rox sighed as she put the baby's things away. No, she didn't really believe that. Nonnie had changed. She went back to the kitchen and wanted Elvis to tell her the truth. "Am I different now?"

Of course, he laughed as he put the plastic containers away. He drew her in and kissed her. 

"Are you sure you're worried about Nonnie at all? Or just you?" He put his arm around her. As usual, he was receptive and accepting.

Yes, Rox supposed it was a journey. Motherhood was like that. Still, she wished Nonnie would tell her if she was feeling unhappy or sad, but Rox felt as if they were a continent away now instead of an hour from each other.

Want you near me

 "I don't know, what would you do?" Of course, Pan was really asking his brother the question he wanted to know...about Wade's brother Craig.

Of course, Wade said it was over, but Pan knew it was just the beginning.

"About what?" Evidently, Gabe was not listening to this phone conversation. Granted, Pan couldn't remember the last time he phoned anyone.

"Roxann is having her baby!" He hadn't meant to be testy, but it was happening.

"And you want to go there, so?"

"Wade doesn't want to go."

"Well, leave him home." Gabe was somber about the whole thing. Evidently, he'd forgotten about Pan's ex..or maybe he was remembering more than he should and knew Pan should not go. Pan couldn't decide.

"You know, Dad's in town."

"Dad?" Now Pan was awake to the reality. "Did you see him?"

"Not yet." But Gabe sounded as if it were inevitable. "Would you be here when he comes over?"

"God No."

"That's what I thought, I can't depend on you, for anything." Gabe always knew how to give him a one-two punch of reality.

"Wait..I'll come." 

Although, Pan felt mute on the subject. It felt like a sudden heart attack. He didn't know what he should do about anything anymore. He just knew Wade was sinking low. He had no idea how to fix this other than maybe a quicky of some sort which he knew wouldn't get them anywhere but maybe an afternoon nap.

He looked at Wade still on the couch as if he was in some sort of family trauma. Finally, Pan got off the phone.

"Hey, let's go to the hospital to be with your brother and Rox," he touched Wade's shoulder and Wade grabbed his hand as if he didn't want to let go. "We don't have to stay the whole time, but we could bring flowers or maybe a few sandwiches for Elvis."

Wade didn't say anything for the longest time, but finally understood. He got up and went to the fridge to see what they had for sandwiches. It wasn't long until he was busy making a boxed lunch or two for Elvis. Maybe they were on the right track, after all.

344. the tiniest of baby clothes and shoes

 Wade found his brother the day Roxann went into labor. 

"So what does this mean?" Elvis was hoping his brother Wade would be with him at the hospital, but evidently it was just going to be Rox and sporatic moments with her mother who kept wanting to see Rox only Rox didn't want to see her.

"That..that its over," Wade sounded as if he was in the clear. Someone was to blame for all the things he'd supposedly done.

"And..and are you going to talk to him?" Elvis knew then he needed to make this about his older brother with the other brother (the brother he'd never met).

"I want to, but..but then I don't."

Wade sounded so indifferent. Elvis wanted to tell him that he needed him here, but he knew that was asking for too much. Elvi went on to tell him, even if he doubted his brother cared that Roxann was doing great and the baby might be born in a few hours.

"That's good." 

Not exactly the words Elvis was looking for, but as soon as he got off the phone, Roxann was asking, "What did he say?"

"Oh you know, busy with work and all."

Elvis smiled. He had a feeling Roxann really wanted a party, but there was none. Just her mother. Finally, he went in the hallway to call Nonnie who he knew wouldn't travel all this way from Lincoln. After all, her baby was due any day.

"Do you know, anyone I could call?" Elvis asked as if they should have made a plan or something. There was that little baby shower at work, but he couldn't see her co-workers dropping in now. 

"Look, I wouldn't want any of you to be there if I was in labor," Nonnie said it was the kind of affair where they needed to be alone and let the nurses and doctor do their work.

Elvis knew she was right, but it felt to him Rox needed more cheering than just him. "I'll try to make her understand." 

Of course, when he went back in, she was sobbing. She didn't want to have anymore labor pains. "I don't think anybody likes me."

"Everyone loves you," he practically crawled into bed with her. "You can't give up now. We've got a son that needs all our love."

She was in tears and finally her mother came in and made over Rox as if she was just a little girl again. Evidently, it worked. All the sobbing and hugging helped. Maybe those two would be close again. At least her mother was including him, every step of the way.

It was a new beginning. And baby Maxwell would be here soon.

Cause you can't go back now

 April couldn't get here soon enough. Still, so much had happened during this whirlwind of winter, or at least Rox thought so.

She and Elvis got married at the art exhibit near the university's commons. It was a very quiet affair on a Sunday afternoon when the commons were closed, but since Elvis was good friends with someone at the art department and a janitor or two, it happened.

Of course, Pan's mom helped more than Rox's own mother. She'd expected as much. Even if he wished Pan and Wade hadn't come to the nuptials. It wasn't a game changer by any means. There were the holidays that were squeezed in, and Rox was beginning to realize that Pan's mom wanted to be a grandma, which she couldn't say about her own mom, but things got better. She guessed Pan and Wade were extended family. After all, Elvis was Wade's half-brother.

She would be in her last tri-master soon and she kept in contact with Nonnie who had gone remote on her job which pleased Rox maybe more than Nonnie.

Her complaint was, "Weezer's home all the time."

Even then Rox knew she didn't mean it. "You know, you guys are in it together," Rox remembered saying over a facetime moment. 

"Well, if he could only have the baby for me," Nonnie sighed as if she still felt she never got enough rest. 

Rox was happy to document this time with a friend who was also pregnant. It was a time for sharing recipes and other secrets while pregnant. 

When Rox confessed she and Elvis were still having intercourse, Nonnie winced with disgust.

"How could that be comfortable?" She'd asked.

"Oh, we have our ways," Rox smiled back into the phone.

"God, you're such love birds," Nonnie smirked.

"I bet you're doing it too," Rox giggled.

"Ha, ha, ha, think again, sister."

Nonnie talked about not having her shit together. It wasn't until later Rox figured out Nonnie was having bouts of diarrhea. It might have been her gall bladder, but since she wasn't throwing up all the time, the doctors didn't seem to worry. Still, Nonnie restricted herself from fatty foods, even ice cream. Rox knew she just couldn't go on without ice cream.

"Are you sure you're eating anything at all?" Rox kept asking from time to time.

"Yes, my fruit and veg every day and some turkey bacon."

Maybe it was a good thing they didn't see each other that often. Rox would hate for Nonnie to see all the things she loved to eat, like pasta and pizza.

I used to travel in the shadows

 "Oh, stop trying to think it's that much different," Pan's lips curled up. He gave Wade a slap on the back. Nothing had changed that much since they got married.

True, it was a very small affair. Just a couple of people from work, their brothers with significant others and of course, Pan's mom. 

"But there's so much I feel we have to do," Wade squinted.

"I know you're not a party animal," Pan chuckled as he was finishing up dinner for two on the stove. It was raining as of late so he knew they wouldn't be going for a run tonight. He'd hate for them to both get sick now.

"Well, I don't like having people over," Wade said he hoped the family wasn't expecting them to have family gatherings now. 

"I think they know that," Pan understood, although he thought it might be nice if they had Thanksgiving here, yet everyone was so busy. That was why he opted to order a turkey dinner. "You know, Gabe's place is small."

"Oh, you are just thinking of the studio," Wade said as he bit into a piece of crispy bacon. "They live above the pizzeria now."

Pan sighed, thinking they might run into Caitlin and he didn't want that. His thought of her made him nervous. After all, she thought the worst of Wade. Thankfully, she hadn't cornered him anywhere to make him feel bad for marrying Wade. 

"Look, we'll just invite Gabe and Sammy, my mom-"

"What about Elvis?" Wade looked at him blankly. They needed to talk about his half-brother who was very much with Pan's ex, Rox.

"I guess-" Pan sighed at the thought. It wasn't bad at the wedding. Still, it was awkward to see her, especially with a growing baby bump.

Pan started eating the cheese omelette packed with mushrooms, peppers, onions and broccoli. 

"It'll be a nice Thanksgiving," Wade nodded as he was still contemplating the whole matter.

"You know, what I'd really like to do," Pan sighed with a soft laugh.

"I know, what I want to do, sleep through the whole thing," Wade sighed. Pan agreed. There weren't that many days to do such hibernation these days, with the nights so long.

"But, its the holidays," he nodded. They had a chance to go to the tree lighting at the old train station this year with family. It would be a great way to start the holidays.

Drowning in an ocean of grey

 Roxann didn't give much thought to Pan and Wade's wedding. Honestly, she wasn't even thinking about her own wedding. She was just enjoying her emerging baby bump. She was glad Elvis didn't mention the upcoming wedding, either. 

Instead, she and Elvis finally got a chance to go down to Lincoln to see Weezer and Nonnie. It was a surprise visit for the weekend. Just a Saturday to spend the day.

Of course, the boys gave them time to catch up, but of course, she was worried. What had happened to Nonnie?

She was so skinny and with the sniffles. She didn't look like she felt good. How had this happened?

"Do you think I've changed?" Rox wanted to know. Nonnie's domain was the kitchen while Weezer was in the backyard showing Elvis around. They were chilling with snacks and pop while Rox and Nonnie were left with fruit, cheese, and herbal tea.

"Of course, not," Nonnie broke into a laugh. Rox was happy to see Nonnie could smile. She was afraid she was in a bad mood.

"I think you have," Rox finally admitted.

"It's different now," Nonnie admitted. "I feel things that I never imagined."

Rox studied her friend's face. She looked a bit sad. Rox wondered what was going on.

"Is it your job?" Rox was happy with hers. Everyone was so kind and understanding. She loved working at the University and was thankful Elvis was doing well with his job too.

"That might be it," Nonnie said she'd had to put up with morning sickness that led to evening sickness. "I thought I was going to have to live on Dr. Pepper and crackers."

"Oh, I want to eat everything," Rox gritted a smile. Yes, there was a small window that she was sick in the beginning, but not anymore.

"This cold just won't go away," Nonnie pressed her lips tight. "The doctor says everything is fine, but..but what if it isn't? What..what if it's where I work, that..that might be making me sick..and it might make the baby sick too."

"Have you thought about finding a new job?" Rox said out of concern. Here, she was thrilled to wear Elvis's shirts he never wore and his levis rolled at the bottom. She looked at her feet, even though they were spreading. She was actually in his old Chuck Taylors.

Nonnie said she didn't want to lose her insurance. It was a top paying job she never imagined having.

"I just wish Weezer would find a great job..so..so you wouldn't have to work," Rox hugged herself. Here, she'd envied Nonnie with a house and a baby on the way. Now she felt sad for her.

Finally having that talk with your mother

 

Gabe didn't know why they really needed him. He was beginning to think that his mother loved Pan best. After all, she'd raised him. He hated that bad feeling, but it seemed she wanted Pan's wedding to be special while his and Sammie's wedding was just a backyard affair.

"You really have to have it at a hotel?" Gabe squinted. They'd invited him out to the venue to sample the food.

"Really, it's not anything big," Pan assured him. "But you'll have to wear a suit."

"Oh." Gave tried not to grimace too much. "Sure." Even then he knew he didn't want to. He didn't dress up.

"You know, Wade has done so much for your brother," his mom said later when they were alone after dinner. Of course, Gabe felt he needed Sammie here to be a buffer, but he nodded as if he was OK with everything. He'd do his best to be the best man. Although, it felt kind of odd, just the three of them in the ceremony. 

"Wade's so alone, you know."

"But, but he has a brother." Gabe reminded his mother. It felt so distant being in the heart of the old market in a hollowed-out brick building that had been here since before the thirties. It was just a space now with an indoor garden. Gabe was certain it was still too fancy for his liking.

"Yeah, I know, but..but he is with Pan's ex. And they are expecting." Gabe's mother made him feel that it was quite a downer. They hadn't invited Elvis to this dinner for the wedding arrangements.

"Surely, you guys aren't going to leave Elvis out," Gabe said. "I mean, even..even ..Rox is like family."

He knew he said too much but didn't want to leave them out. He could see his mother didn't want to talk about them.

It's a sound in my head

 "Are you really OK?" Rox says so excited when she hears Nonnie's voice. She knows Nonnie didn't want kids just  as much as Rox once upon a time now they would be due within a month of each other.

"It's been kind of poopy," Nonnie quietly admits. She tells her how she's been hit with RSV. She hadn't seen that one coming, but it through her for a loop and then to find out she was pregnant which had left her with a bad cold.

"What do you mean?" Rox cringes at the thought. 

"That's the way it is," Nonnie left it at that. "Sometimes, it's like that." But she says it's getting better yet she is terribly tired.

"You have a doctor, don't you?" Rox says out of concern while she's trying to make a sandwich with one hand. She just threw up, but she still wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Of course, I do," Nonnie sounds as if she's angry that Rox would even ask. "I think I'm lactose intolerant. It's freaking me out, you know. I mean I love my LIFE cereal and it's been such a change. I don't know if I can get used to almond milk."

"Try cashew milk," Rox blurts. She tells her how she makes cashew mac and cheese but leaves out the part that she uses real cheese. There is so much Rox wants to tell her best friend, but she knows it would only leave Nonnie more tired. Especially when Nonnie tells her that cashew milk is too expensive.

Rox doesn't want this to be a bad beginning. She hopes they see each other soon, even if it's a Sunday afternoon. She wants to tell her about her secretary job, yet she is certain Nonnie doesn't have the time to listen.

"I love you. I love you and Weezer. I hope this passes," Rox is almost in tears. She wishes Nonnie was as happy as she was. Only she can't say when she exactly knew she happy. Maybe it happened just living with Elvis. Were they two silly people? Rox smiles when she gets off the phone. She loves being silly with Elvis.

Where you venture, I will follow

 Elvis was pleased when Rox got on at the University as a maintenance secretary. Possibly, she didn't like anyone knowing about it, but it paid the bills and helped with the insurance. 

"It could lead to something else," Elvis knew she had the talent and she wouldn't be on her feet.

"But you aren't on a walk-talkie all day with men," Rox told him. However, she didn't pout too much about it. There were other women she worked with and he knew she could get used to it. Elvis was settling into his job and could hardly wait to be a Daddy.

"Now if only we weren't alone," he said one night after dinner. He did the cleaning up leaving her to watch.

"What do you mean?" She sounded curious. Of course, she was already holding her stomach as if she about to pop although, she wasn't showing.

"I don't know, you know, another couple to help guide us, I guess," Elvis shrugged. He was certain there was an app for that, but he wished they knew another pregnant couple.

"Well, as long as we are both there for all the appointments," Rox said. "It should be fine."

She was wearing more loose clothing these days, which he thought was kind of funny since most women wore the tightest outfits to show off the baby bump. But Rox was always slumming in her cosmic sleep pants and baggy tee the moment she got home. Usually, she was sick as soon as she stepped in the apartment and then couldn't eat enough bread and butter. Elvis didn't know she would be this way, but he didn't know what to expect.

Also, she was not very nice to her mother. Funny, her mother called every night, but the phone calls ended bitterly. 

"You need to be nice to her, we might need her to babysit someday," he'd said about the matter. Of course, she bit back. "I don't want her to even see the baby."

It was a delicate subject. Really, he wondered if he needed to find a Soon To Be Daddy support group, but as luck would have it, Weezer called. He was gonna be a daddy too.

I knew we were meant to be

 

Wade didn't see it coming. Not with his baby brother Elvis, but Elvis rarely went solo when he asked him to meet up at the coffee shop. Of course, it was too hot for coffee and they got cold frappucinos even if Wade knew it was too late in the day for him to have caffeine. After all, Elvis was buying so it had to be good news.

Elvis told him about the baby. No way could Wade react. Roxanne pregnant. He hated the fact it was her. Anyone else and he'd be a happy fool. Now he just had to act like one. 

"That's just great," Wade knew he was being silly after he choked on the drink and almost spewed it on Elvis who was grinning like an idiot.

"I know. I know you don't think it'll happen." Elvis finally sighed as his smile faded. He played with the straw in his thick creamy drink. He wouldn't even look at Wade.

"Well," Wade winced. "She never wanted kids with Pan."

"He never wanted kids."

Wade looked at him blankly. For a fleeting moment, he thought Pan would make a good dad. Wade never thought he could do it. He cleared his throat.

"Maybe, this..this is the way it's supposed to be."

Wade was serious, and that's when Elvis told him about Rox's egg situation. Naturally, Wade was thinking about the dozen you pick up at the supermarket.

"Is that what they're calling it these days?" Wade smirked. Elvis didn't comment. "See?" Wade knew he had to be happy for Elvis. "It was meant to be. And..and I'll try to be the best uncle I can be." He spoke up for Pan as if he'd be there every step of the way.

"Does this mean you and Pan are getting married?" Elvis looked him in the eye. Wade thought he might fall off his chair in the empty coffee shop.

"What about you?" He came back with. He told him Elvis and Rox were the ones to get married. 

Gazing into the days long gone

 When Nonnie got the baby news from Rox, she did her best to stay upbeat. She didn't want to bring her down, but still, it worried her.

"Are you really OK?" She knew Rox's history. Finding out she was pregnant was the last thing Nonnie ever thought would happen. Possibly, when Rox mentioned her egg count, Nonnie made the best of it. "I know you can do it. You're with Elvis now."

"I know," but Nonnie hinted a sadness in Rox's voice.

"Don't look back," Nonnie said quick enough as she was doing her best to make dinner for her and Weezer at their new place. Of course, they hadn't made any friends yet in the neighborhood. She knew a few co-workers, but they were mainly divorced women who wanted her to come out and drink with them which she didn't. She and Weezer were doing their own kind of nesting, but just for the two of them.

Weezer had taken a shine to yard work and they'd painted the livingroom. The kitchen was their next priority.

"Why don't you two come down for the weekend?" Nonnie asked thinking it would be great to see her bestie. Sure, they texted each day, but touching base was key, and Weezer had finally decided Elvis wasn't all bad.

"Oh, I don't know. I've applied for a new job and well, I dunno if..if I can even get it," Rox sounded worried.

"Relax." Nonnie told her. "You got this." Nonnie kept smiling. Yet, it didn't seem real, she thought when she got off the phone with Rox.

Rox was going to have a baby. She wouldn't have the baby until next March. She couldn't phantom the thought. She shook with laughter. It felt as of her old skin of bad thoughts slid off of her like a dry snake skin. The past.

"What are you smiling about, Babe?" Weezer came in to find something cold to drink. He was getting the back yard ready for a new dog. They'd decided they needed a fur baby. They looked at the Animal shelter on a weekly basis, but they hadn't found one to take.

"Oh, it's Rox," Nonnie's smile was open. "Elvis and Rox are having a baby." Her laugh suddenly turned into a cough. She felt breathless and a bit dizzy herself.

Weezer helped her to a dining chair. He was slick with sweat and grass.

"You must be allergic to me," Weezer chuckled. He went to get chilled water for her.

She sighed, thinking she might be freaking out a little. But she was happy for Rox. Oh, she hoped it went well for her. Still, she felt a little sad, too. Why was she so scared of having children, herself?

She loved Weezer. She knew she would never want to be with anyone else. The tears hit her and her throat tightened. She thought she might die. She could hardly breathe. 

Weezer looked at her in shock. He picked up the phone to call 911, but she promised it would pass even if she did have trouble breathing.

I'll be here every night and day

 

It might as well have been an earthquake. Rox thought she might collapse when she saw the results in the bathroom. It was a rush of excitement for Elvis. Before she knew it, he had her down to the Emergency Care to get checked out which meant going on to the hospital.  Just what Rox wanted to do on an early Saturday morning. NOT.

Just as she was mumbling herself while on rewind, trying to figure out why she took the goddamn test in the first place. Oh yeah, Elvis brought it home because he thought she was coming down with something. He thought it might be best.

"Well, it's good that you got pregnant, when you did," The female doctor told her she didn't have that many eggs to begin with.

"Eggs?" It made her nauseous. 

"This might be your only chance to have one." The doctor's words left her in limbo. How could this be happening? Then she looked at Elvis and wanted to tell him it was all his fault. Of course, she hadn't been on birth control since she'd met him.

"We can do this!" She knew Elvis' promise was genuine. 

Rox nodded. But it was a lot to think about. Especially, the next nine months. She touched her stomach. She would be going through changes. Was she mentally up for it? Of course, she was the assistant manager at Mel's now. This meant she focused a lot of attention on scheduling people to work and making sure supplies were always there for good use.

"I think I have to go throw up." She went to the bathroom and did her thing. She cried as she washed her face. She knew she needed to do this for the both of them. They were moving forward. She'd never felt life going so fast and yet so steady. This was no time to freak out. She was going to have a baby.

This was the new Rox, not old Roxanne who used to be with Pan. But she couldn't help to think, if she and Pan had had a baby it would be in third grade by now. She blinked tears. What was the use of thinking of imaginary children? This was real with Elvis. And she knew she needed to be her healthiest.

On the way home, he showed her an opening in personnel at the University. "I don't want you on your feet. You need a nice place to work."

"But it is nice-" Rox hesitated.

"Not that nice," he told her. "I want to be close by."

Rox took a deep breath. She guessed she would apply.

And I could see it a mile away

 

Rox finally knew, but she didn't want to say it. Not right now. Especially, where there was so much to do at their two-bedroom apartment just down the hall from Pan and Wade's. 

Of course, those two did the bulk of the move. Of course, Elvis helped. It was a good brotherly time. Rox kept to herself mostly, with the packing and unpacking. 

But Pan was his casual self and made sure to find a place for all the kitchen stuff.

"How come you have so many glasses?" He asked as he was unloading the few boxes in the kitchen where Rox felt the most needed. She wanted to put their dishes away.

"We might have a party, or something," she responded. "Actually, Elvis couldn't choose and.."

Pan nodded and walked away. She knew this must be hard for him too. But he brought her a soda from the cooler he brought. Evidently, they brought over a meal for the two of them so they wouldn't have to cook on their first night.

"Maybe you should try one of those glasses out," Pan smiled. He remembered how she liked her soft drinks over ice.

Rox bit her bottom lip. She said a quiet thank you and went on with her work as if they might as well be strangers. Although, he still felt like family even if he was her ex. 

"Maybe you two can drop by for lunch on Sundays," Pan said. "Of course, don't come over before two."

She nodded with a smile. She knew she could do this for Elvis. She was certain Pan was doing this for Wade. She guessed if they did these dinners enough it wouldn't be awkward.

"I'll ..well, we'll cook for you guys," she decided. "We're a pretty good team." She talked about Elvis.

"Oh, I just watch you know," he shrugged.

Yeah, some things had not changed about Pan, but he seemed friendlier now. About then Wade and Elvis came in with the mattress. Finally, it was home when the mattress landed sweetly in its place on the bed.

"Well, it's time for us to get out of here," Wade laughed.

"You're leaving so soon?" Elvis gave his brother a pat on the back.

"Yeah, it's time for you two to be grownups. You don't need us," Wade squinted. His smile was open.

It wasn't long until Pan and Wade left. Elvis went to investigate what was in the cooler. There were cold salads and even meatballs and spaghetti to warm up.

"Nice." 

Elvis' lips curled up on the ends. Rox smiled back and she went to him to give him a hug. It felt like home.

There you go

"What will happen to us?" Rox didn't want Nonnie to go. They were so close now. It would be so strange.

"You'll come and visit," Nonnie told her. She'd bought a house. She said it didn't need too much fixing, but of course, Weezer was anxious. Nonnie was a first-time house owner. She said it was a big responsibility, but she was glad she could do this. She had a good salary now at the pharmaceutical company.

"I knew you could," Rox assured her with a big hug. Of course, she was in tears. "What will I do without you?"

"You can do this. You can be everything you need to be," Nonnie made it sound like a promise. "You have to go on. Don't look back. Don't make it about the past. Just think of the future."

Rox nodded. Still, she was so emotional lately. She hated this but knew she had a future with Elvis. They'd found their own place too. Even if were in the same apartment building.

"See, you two might have your own house too," Nonnie smiled. "But it takes hard work, and I know you two can do it."

Rox understood. She knew Nonnie had never counted on Weezer's dad for anything. Still, it made her a little sad that Nonnie didn't feel she was good enough for Weezer when they both knew she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

Of course, he had a long way to go getting a degree in engineering. Weezer opted for a quick degree to work on X-ray machines and other medical equipment that needed maintenance. He'd gotten on at a hospital in Lincoln.

"We won't be that far away," Nonnie told her as she and Weezer went on packing.

"I know," but it was an hour away and she and Elvis could get lost easily in a city they didn't know. It was like asking them to come to Mexico for a visit. Rox would hate to tell her how unlikely a visit would be. "But we'll be busy in our new place too." 

Rox was glad they'd be in a big enough place, all on their own. No more sharing the bathroom.

You know the ones who said I'd never find someone

 Where had the time gone? Was it almost Mother's Day? Tristan winced at the thought. Of course, there was his ledger of bills to look through on his tablet. Thankfully, Dale was always on top of this stuff. 

Last night before bed she mentioned that Weezer and Nonnie were moving out. He didn't want to believe it, but Nonnie was making a full-time salary now and she was buying a house (no thanks and no help from Weezer's dad), but those two were moving on.

"A house?" He'd said then, but now he realized there would be a vacancy. Well, didn't they need a new roommate? He pondered over this at the kitchen table in the wee morning hours before anyone got up. He hoped they wouldn't have so many in the apartment. They just needed to look for single roommates, not couples. He knew what Dale would think about that. She was always in favor of the more the merrier. But there was the bathroom situation to think about. A part of him wanted to call Nic about the matter, but instead, he called Liv.

"Why are you calling?" She asked first thing from Seoul where is was nine at night.

"How are things going?" He jumped right in with a generic question.

"Fine."

He expected as much. She could be cold just like their mother sometimes. Yes, he was certain of it now. Liv was just like their mother. 

"Mom hasn't heard from you," he said.

"So."

"That's all you got? You and Woo still together?" He wanted to know and she shot back with, "Are you still with Dale?"

Finally, she mentioned that Woo's niece moved out. Tristan smiled. "So you're all alone with Woo?"

She sighed as if he might be putting too much pressure on her. "Will you ever be alone with Dale?"

"Um, well..." Tristan squinted and told her the news about Weezer and Nonnie. "You remember them don't you?"

"Yes," Liv said she'd worked with Weezer, one summer, but she'd forgotten he was with Nonnie. 

"She's got a great job now at the pharmaceutical company," Tristan told her they were moving to Lincoln. "I guess we'll be looking for a new roommate soon." Tristan didn't think Rox and Elvis would be here much longer either. "They're itching to get out on their own."

I wish you'd come back

 "OH MY GOD!" Ali was thrilled when she saw Liv's face on the phone screen. "I can't believe I finally I got you!" Still, she could see Liv wasn't that happy that she'd answered the call.

Ali did her best to keep upbeat. It was no big thing or so she kept telling herself.  Sure, Liv was apologetic. It seemed she had a lot going on these days.

"Its not too late to talk, is it?" Ali kept even-lipped. She did her best not to be fangirling over her best friend. Liv was still her best friend. Ali hadn't found a way to replace her. Liv asked about Ali's boyfriend Diago, her other best friend.

"It's good." She'd keep it simple. Their attraction hadn't burned out. She wasn't sure what they were doing that was so right, but Ali didn't question it. 

"So what's up?" Liv asked as if she knew something was happening if it wasn't about Ali's boyfriend, then who.

Ali told her about how Prom was almost here and there was graduation by the end of May. She didn't want there to be any problems. Still, she didn't know what to do about Cleo.

"Oh, well..I don't think you remember Cleo."

"Cleo?" Liv winced as if it might be a trick question.

"Leo, that's who you might remember."

"Leo? The guy who liked to steal your lunch," Liv nodded as she stared at Ali.

"He didn't steal lunches." Ali would stand up for Leo/Cleo. "He..I mean she is going by Cleo now."

"Oh." Liv didn't sound interested.

"Cleo is working at Mel's now," Ali told her that it was Rox's first hire.

"Rox?" Liv winced. "She works there? I thought she was at the Coffee Shop?"

"Oh, she left there a while ago. She's not with that guy you remember, but she's with Elvis now," Ali told her. "Cleo is a friend of Elvis'."

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Liv sighed as if she was glad not to be around these people.

"It's just, it's very hard to know what to say around Cleo," Ali confessed.

"Now that's pretty hilarious," Liv smiled.

"Why are you saying that?" Ali winced as if Liv wasn't taking her seriously.

"Now you know, how I felt when you were transitioning. It was a very moody time."

Liv's smile was quick. "Look, I'm sure Cleo might never appreciate you as much as you wished, but I am sure they are glad you are there for them."

Ali sighed. She guessed she needed to hear that. Although, she never remembered being quite as unhappy as Cleo who looked to be living their darkest days.

It's a livin' thing

 

Ari was at a loss for words. What was happening here? Was this what he thought it meant?

Not that Pan was acting randy or anything around Wade out at the steakhouse, but when they started to share each other's plates, it was just a little too intimate for Ari. 

Well, he'd never.

"Here, taste this?" Jade pushed a fried shrimp into his mouth. Her smile was so silly. She knew perfectly well Pan and Wade were more than just friends. He felt like the last to know.

Ari almost choked. No way was he sharing his rib-eye with her. He just didn't do things like that. He wasn't raised that way.

Wade asked how their month was going. He even talked to Jade a bit about where she worked. Which startled Ari. After all, Wade never said much.

"I have to start going to the gym again," he said as he sipped water while playing with his baked sweet potato. Pan handed him more butter as if he knew exactly what Wade needed.

Ari knew he could accept it, but he felt a little weak in the chest. How had it turned out this way? When did it happen? Had it always been like this?

By the end of the evening, Pan said they should do this again. Of course, Pand and Wade paid for Ari and Jade's dinner.

"We'll get dinner next time," Ari agreed. No way was he expecting free meals. And it felt weird this time getting a hug from both Pan and Wade.

"Oh, I don't know what you're worried about," Jade said later when they got home from the heavy meal. Of course, Ari got out the red wine as if he needed it.

He settled on the couch without a smile, holding his glass of wine while Jade only went for half a glass and filled the rest with Bubbly.

"Look, if we ever have a kid, they'll be the best uncles ever." She told him. He looked at her blankly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She was drinking wine too. She couldn't possibly be-.

Jade laughed out loud and took a sip of wine as she folded her legs under her short skirt on the couch and looked him in the eye.

"Gotcha!" She practically poked him in the stomach. She then talked about growing up with uncles who weren't blood-related. "We were on a lot of different bases. It's not that big of a deal."

"Yeah, but..but I kept thinking..maybe..maybe Pan and Rox would get back together," Ari said after he drank some of the red wine. He sighed.

"Oh, baby..those two are never ever getting back together," Jade chuckled. She said she'd seen how Rox worked hard at Mel's and Elvis was Wade's little brother. "Those two are getting it together."

"How would you know?" he scowled.

"I talk to Dale all the time," Jade mentioned how she sometimes dropped by the place. She didn't always see Dale. Sometimes, Dale would leave her little notebooks of information about where Jade worked. "I see Elvis and Rox occasionally."

Ari nodded. He was beginning to think he might be the antisocial instead of Jade. Still, if he could only get her to want to go out with Justin and Vada.

"Oh, you know they have no money," Jade squinted. "The best we can do is invite them over for dinner."

Ari remained even-lipped. It was true Pan was the best even if he had boyfriend now.

Strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days

 "I'd like to offer the job to you," Roxann had never said those words before as she peered over her glasses into Cleo's serious face. "We would really need you on Friday nights. The whole weekend, actually."

It was her first higher. And the first time she'd managed to wear her glasses for a whole day. Usually, this was Nonnie's job, but she was well into her Internship now at the pharmaceutical place. The brunt of being the night manager was on Rox now. 

"You're only hiring me because of Elvis," Cleo was being moody. Rox had to expect that.

"No, you were the only one who applied." She was even-lipped with a shrug. "I don't expect you to be here forever." She looked down at Cleo's resume. This was their first job. "You need this. You need to know how to work." 

Rox suspected that was why Cleo wasn't completely who she wanted to be. It took money and insurance to get what she needed. Cleo wasn't even on hormone therapy. 

"So you can start, right now."

"God, you're optimistic."

Cleo hugged the bony body they were in. Rox sensed the less she said the better off it would all be.

About then Ali squealed a yeah and brought a personal pan pizza to Cleo. It was a veggie with extra mushrooms.

Rox was glad that Ali had helped with knowing Cleo's background. Cleo lived with an old aunt. Maybe Cleo was more down to earth than they seemed. 

"It's on the house," Ali promised before Cleo chowed down. 

Finally, Rox went back to the kitchen. Cory was there watching the dough stir into a gigantic mound.

"I didn't even mention it to Elvis," she sighed.

"You think he'll be mad," Cory looked at her.

"I don't think so," Rox said Elvis was worried about his friend. "It's just Cleo is kind of bitter, you know."

Cory nodded as if it was nothing new to him. "We'll see how long Cleo can last."

They both nodded. It was true the pay wasn't that great.

You were way ahead of the trend, g-get it

 Valentine's Day felt like it might have been last year, but still Rox thought of it so fondly with Elvis. Yes, he had a bouquet of roses for her. She asked how much but he wouldn't tell.

It was after work. Late by most standards, but they made a night of it just as much. Well, of course, it was good. She could say great, but she didn't want to give him that much credit for the sex since it was all still so new to him.

"When was your first kiss?" He'd asked so naughty after a haughty intercourse. She thought he would have been asleep, but he wasn't.

Rox sighed heavily. She'd have to think about it. Perhaps.

"Oh, it was after a soccer game," she laughed. "I was only six, I guess. He was older. Like eight. We were under the bleachers." She still smiled about it as if she'd worried since birth that she might never be truly kissed. It was like making up for lost time. "What about it?"

Elvis only smiled as if he'd waited for this moment all along. He drew her in and naturally touched all the soft spots to awaken them for the second course. 

"Who did you kiss?" She wanted to know. They were engaging in the past even if the future was looking so promising.

"I can't really say," he shrugged with a smirk.

"Why can't you?"

"Cause." He looked at her a little blankly. His fingers touched her breasts and pried lower.

"Cause why?"

"It's not quite that exciting," he told her.

"Well, I told someone he was a fag," She was even lipped. "I liked the word. So I used it. That dude I kissed at the soccer game."

"Isn't that cigarettes?" Elvis had his head propped up under his jaw looking down at her. She touched his face then. Damn him, he always looked lush in her eyeshadow.

She only smiled. And he kissed her as if he might be her first kiss.

"Maybe you went on to kiss a boy," she persisted.

"I didn't." He looked at her ever so endearing.

"Who was it?" She wanted to know.

"My mother."  But he kept looking at her as if he could move on if she'd let him.

"Your mother?" Oh, it almost broke the train of ecstasy that was on its way.

"She was just, a little out of it." He didn't make it sound dreadful. "She..she gave me a kiss......with tongue."

Oh, she felt so sad for him now. But not then because there were other matters to tend to. And she let him. The endless tears prevailed in her sleep. How could they make it right? Both were damaged even if Elvis didn't know it.